Got My Head So Full Of Traffic

2007-06-19T23:26:00.001+03:00

I wonder how soon you can get addicted to this stuff, taking in notice the speed of disappearing fags in the first and only package of cigarettes I have ever bought.

Fuck-y'all-attitude is floating above the surface too often lately and then again I'm laughing my lungs out and getting cramps in the stomach from laughing at work the same time.

2007-06-12T23:07:00.000+03:00

Jau kādu ceturto dienu ar muguras smadzenēm jūtu to smacējošo sajūtu, ka vajadzētu vai nu pielikties kā lopam, vai šļakstīt asaras pa visām vīlēm, vai nu pasēdēt uz tuvējā dzelzs tilta un apdomāt dzīvi. Neviens no iepriekš minētajiem nav izdevies.

un ik rīta došanās uz darbu ir kā zobu sāpes.. nav labi, nav labi, jo viss taču ir labi, pat vairāk.

Sasodīts, vajag psihologu.

2007-06-06T20:57:00.000+03:00

I'm a bundle of nerves.
Tomorrow is the day.
I'll defend my bachelor work.

..atzīšanās mīlestībā zvaigznēm, kuras pārāk sen nav vērotas tumši zili melnajā debesjumā..

2007-06-04T23:14:00.000+03:00

Tik ērmoti dīvaini..
..visu dienu apkārt cilvēku bari - pazīstami un nepazīstami, pusdienu biedri, cigarešu drupinātāji un kāju švīkātāji uz blakus soliņa pusdienu pārtraukumā, dokumentu burzītāji un ķiķinoši smējēji.

bet pietrūkst citu, ļoti.
vismaz labi, ka ir gar-vadu komunikācijas ar klausām-runājam trubu vienā..un otrā galā.

vērtība lietām, (ne)lietām pamanās uzrasties, kad ar pirkstu galiem nepietiek, lai to notvertu un ieliktu krūšu kreisajā kabatiņā kā tādu pieneņpūku, tuvāk pie sirds, tuvāk where it really matters.

2007-05-29T23:16:00.000+03:00

Hello my dear abandoned blog.
It's been a while again..

Bachelor work was handed in last Friday, non-stop writing days are over for now.
Now the only thing that triggers occasional nightmares is the day of defending that piece of brain-torture June 7.

The heat we're having here (+30 °C) is a cause not only for dehydration, but also for madness. Take for example my working place - no properly working air conditioner, the upper floor with a roof where you could cook eggs, boil water and what else not; AND THEN, imagine, you're trying to make as less movement as possible, fighting your way on a bilingual contract and suddenly you're a witness to a splish-splash event, where the main role is played by a guy, a girl (both quite irritated) and a full cup of coffee. Result: everything around in 2 m radius flooding in that fluid, as well as a big stain on the guy's shirt. Nice, huh? :)

somehow it feels like there's a need for a long, long conversation, but no friends are around (not at least in person), shish, stupid hormones..

complaining again! You know me!

2007-05-15T09:44:00.000+03:00

Last night I woke up by the drumming sound of almighty heaven thunder..
Yea, spring (or summer?) has arrived at last and we're all hoping for giving up all those long-sleeve clothes, scarfs and the rest of winter attributes.

And even though I get unbearable panic attacks that sometimes reach the level of a phobia from thunderstorms, this one was kind of... mmm... pleasant, in the thankful way for getting back the smell of blossoming flowers and trees, smiling people, even with umbrellas in their hands.

And then a long forgotten album came spinning in my winamp playlist. Turin Brakes Optimist LP.
4 years ago. I first got my hands to that shiny piece of CD and it eventually became my closest companion of spring/summer 2003. Time when I was full of stress, sitting most of the day in my room trying to get loads of math-formulas in my head, preparing for exams and hardly avoiding temptations of spring.

And now it's 2007, nothing much has changed. I'm sitting by my laptop and forcefully trying to tap-tap my bachelor work with the same lack of motivation :)

uhhh, memories!

what is little, black and it jumps?

2007-05-06T22:45:00.000+03:00

..as I recieved a request for more cute, little puppy pictures, here they are:

(that was before his ears refused to stand up straight for the sake of breed requirements)

you bet, it's yummi!

..you get the idea ;)

Iekšējai balsij:

2007-05-05T01:39:00.000+03:00

Paņem vienkārši aizveries, ja?

Nu vismaz uz brīdi..

2007-04-29T23:25:00.000+03:00

It's freezingly cold here and May is just one footstep away.
I've been torturing my eyes at the laptop writing my bachelor for the last couple of weeks, at least the first signs of panic have gone for a while and the process is slowly but unstoppably rolling..

..but somehow it feels like something is missing..

ps. please spend a moment borrowing your ears to this wonderful 7 minutes of music!

2007-04-13T23:32:00.000+03:00

Uzmācīgas domas un idejas riņķo pa galvu, čuķ' ne sasniedzot īstu apsēstības līmeni.
Tu, es, viņš, viņa - viss vienā katlā, vienā lidošanas trajektorijā, no viena pie otra un otrādi, un tā joprojām.

Vispār ar galvu kas nav kārtībā, pilnīgi kā vate būtu attiecīgās vietās iebāzta - varēšana ir, bet iekšējais sastrēgums nelaiž neko ne pa mata tiesu ārā. Un tik bezspēcīgi un tizli par savu sašļukumu ilgi nebiju jutusies.

Pavasaris, ziniet!
Tīrais taureņu un zirnekļu mītings vēderā.

2007-04-10T23:19:00.000+03:00

Another name-day has gone and, must say, it was one of the sort that would proudly get the tag of "yay, I smile".. and that my friends happen rarely.

A bunch of roses, kisses and hugs, and greetings from colleagues, SMS'es from long-time no-see friends, in between a lot of work, uplifiting phone calls, self-made buscuit-cake, huh, it really was a nice day.

In other news - still struggling with the start of writing my bachelor; AND we have a new pet in our family - a very cute little puppy :)

woosh!

2007-03-21T21:22:00.000+02:00

I'm away, away, away..
Spending most of my time in this building, getting wiser every day about credits, credit cards and all kind of things you can come in touch in a bank. And although it's quite exhausting at times, still haven't regretted my choice to jump in this moving train :)

Hopefully you're all doing fine.
Hugs and kisses, my fluffy darlings!

Anit.

2007-02-16T23:42:00.000+02:00

Two days have passed since my daily routine has shifted and shaped into a "wake up at 7am -> work -> come home slightly exhausted" model. But apart from the nightmare monster that is my bachelor thesis (haven't started it yet, pff) everything is going fine.

I'm slowly getting accustomed to the new environment that is to become "my second home" eventually - the (orange-blue stripped brand) bank, oh didn't I tell you? :)

Taking in notice all upper and before said it seems like this place will become even more abandoned. I will have training courses in Rīga for the whole March and all my free time will be dedicated to my bachelor thesis...

Anyway, take care my darlings, head up! and, you know, I'm almost always available on either msn or skype ;) drop a line....or two, three, four, five, six, seve...

Latest news

2007-02-14T23:47:00.000+02:00

Half of the day spent in a half-euphoric state of mind.
The reason? *Beep-beep* on my cell phone and a long awaited message.
We offer you a job!

Yay, yay, yay! :)

2007-01-29T21:58:00.000+02:00

Tik ideāls laiciņš, lai sēdētu kādā siltā nostūrī, apkrautai ar spilvenu grēdām, tējas krūzi un mazajiem Selgas cepumiņiem ekipējumā, atvērtu aizkarus un ielas laternu gaismā apbrīnotu to burvīgo sniegpārsliņu danci, kas pašlaik norisinās aiz loga.

un tad klusi no mūziks' aparatūrs' atskan "es nepazīstu tevi, tu nepazīsti mani šai pilsētā, kur tik daudz ļaužu ganās.."

Let's have a post in English for a change, shall we?

2007-01-28T23:22:00.000+02:00

For my non-Latvian speaking readers here's an insight of what has been happening round my corner for the last weeks.
I've been enjoying the last weeks of active participating in high education activities, i.e., last lectures in the Advertisements course and an intensive course in Strategic Management. All stuffed in in only two weeks, basically resulting in a flood of group works, long-lecture days, several exams in a row and an overly moody me. I think, I came home only to sleep, read and eat a bit.

Thankfully, the awful feeling of being driven mad by my counterparts caused by too much time spent together in solving tiring school-issues has lessened over the weekend.

The main targets laying ahead are starting an internship and focusing on finally starting to write my bachelor - tough nuts to crack!

Greetings from the snowy countryside ;)

PS. The more time passes, the more I miss DK, the Erasmus bunch and my lovely neighbours..

traces of people you will never know

2007-01-28T22:36:00.000+02:00

Oh, btw, we have snow! Loads of it!

2007-01-26T23:36:00.000+02:00

Trīs stundas intensīvas lasīšanas, buršanās pa materiālu čupu, smadzeņu kroku stumdīšanas un lādēšanās par to, ka nekādas jēdzīgas un "svaigas" domas nenāk prātā, kā izveidot Harley-Davidson zīmola lojalitāti Eiropā, piķis un zēvele! (Mājiens! -> Eksāmens uzņēmumu stratēģijas kurss).
Un tad vēl mūsu smukais (nerēc!) pasniedzējs bija tā nejauši piemirsis atsūtīt lapiņu ar galveno informāciju gudru padomu sniegšanai.
Pirmoreiz izjutu tās mokas, ko nozīmē vārds "sesija". Tagad tik jācer, ka tie pārgudrie murgojumi būs kādu labumu nesuši un vismaz kāds eksāmens būs nolikts.

Tik dīvaini - nekas nav pārāk steidzami jāmācas, jāstreso un vēl par sazin ko galva jālauza, mm!
Jauka sajūta.

2007-01-24T18:09:00.000+02:00

- Eu, klau, jūs pamanījāt, ka šodien ir pēdējā lekcija?
Vēl tikai eskāmeni palikuši..."
- Mjā..

Tā kā jau kuro reizi nodarbojos ne ar to svarīgāko, bet it kā saistīto, par godu rītdienas Reklāmas kursa eksāmenam viens raksta galiņš iz Alberts.lv:

Ikvienam spēcīgam un ietekmīgam zīmolam ir nepieciešami divi vārdi. Reālais un iesauka. Kāpēc? Jo iesaukas vienmēr palīdz patērētājam izveidot ciešāku saikni ar uzņēmumu un tā zīmolu, ja viņam tas šķiet jauks un mīļš.
Piemēram, divi savstarpēji tuvi cilvēki nekad nelieto sarunā viens ar otru reālos vārdus. Tas drīzāk ir kāds mīļvārdiņš vai iesauka. Ja jūsu sieva nomainīs savu vārdu uz „mīļumiņš” tikai tāpēc, ka jūs tā viņu dēvējat, kas notiks? Jums būs nepieciešams izdomāt jaunu iesauku.
Vārdi tik un tā ir spēcīgāki par abriviatūru, tas nu reiz ir fakts. Labākie pierādījumi ir: radars ( radio detecting and ranging); lāzers (light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation); u.c.

Ar c. Ķemuriņš :)

2007-01-23T23:35:00.000+02:00

Visas rezerves izsmeltas.
Radošā krīze.
Pārāk daudz cases stratēģijas kursā svešā mēlē.
Nogurdinoši grupu darbi, kuros ik pa brīdim nojaušu, ka savos izteikumos un sarkasmā aizeju pa tālu, kaut tas tiešām nav tā domāts. O jā, mēdzu būt riebīga, bet savējie, cerams, sapratīs.

Vēl 3 dienas jāizvelk un tad drīkstēs nedaudz atvilkt elpu.
Bet līdz tam mokas un sevis un skolas lādēšana.

Paldies par uzmanību.
Galva atļāvusies to vaļību pašlaik aplaimot ar neizturamām sāpēm.
Bušum bušum.

2007-01-21T00:02:00.000+02:00

ja nebūtu tāda gļēvulība, sēdētu uz balkoniņa salā un vērotu kā sniegpārsliņas dejo savu kāzu valsi.
gluži kā vakarnakt.. stāvēt pagalma vidū un izplestām rokām skatīties un smiet laternas gaismā, ka atkal nav kur auto noparkot.
izdzertas vīna glāzes, teātra izrāde.
asaras acīs tik skaistās, ne man, ne tev, bet viņai un viņam. tomēr tu, lētticīgais muļķis, sēdi un jūti pretējo.

neatļauti, nepieļaujami sapņi, kuri izlaužas laternu apspīdētajā istabas gaismā un līdz ar modinātāja spalgajām skaņām atgriežas tajās dzīlēs, kur tie saceļas tikai tad, kad gaismas robežas līdz ar plakstiņu aizvēršanu tiek nojauktas.

zinu, ka tā nedrīkst, zinu, zinu, visu to zinu.
bet tikai sapņot par mīlestību un nejust..

nu, bļāviens, cik bezjēdzīgi un sarežģīti, un nepateikti.

sail away

2007-01-19T16:41:00.000+02:00

2007-01-16T23:54:00.000+02:00

Daļiņa manis šonakt aizlidos uz Zviedriju.
Un mūžīgi skrejošais laiks nenovēlēja mirklīti atvadām.

Pēkšņi palika tik skumji, tik skumji.

2007-01-15T23:35:00.000+02:00

Apologies for the ongoing period of silence here!

I'm pretty busy with school and especially the next 2 weeks are gonna be neck and nerve breaking - assignments, intensive courses, exams + ~~gonna start working (real employment, heh)~~ . (update: that offer was dropped, too bad)

Maybe I'll drop a line now and then, though I'm seariously thinking about giving the blog up...

Anyway, take care, my beloved fluffies! :)

2007-01-10T23:06:00.000+02:00

šī vieta iesūnojusi un pilna ar tīmekļiem no tiem zvēriem ar astoņām vai cik tur spalvainām kājām.
neticama laikapstākļu ietekme uz veselības un gara stāvokļa ne pārāk draudzīgajām attiecībām.
jūtas un sajūtas ir manu domu uzticamās sabiedrotās, kas viena no otras cenšas izliekt arvien trakāku pagriezienu spirāles.
vientulība esot labākais un laikam arī vienīgais veids, kā likt tam mazajam, brēcošajam, iekšā sēdošajam "es" vienreiz paklusēt.

jāklapē šī bodīte būs vien ciet ar lielu izkārtni "aizceļoju!"

Долго дождик слезы лил под моим окном

2007-01-02T16:50:00.000+02:00

Indeed, rain wept at my window for ages. And still does at night. In an unison with the wind.

Holidays have moved on and dragged up its old friend Emptiness. And then there is this never ending Autumn with its green grass, masses of rainwater, mud and a desperate longing for snow. Snow?? What the heck is that?

Not much has happened the last days. Went skating with my mum and little sister yesterday and ended up bowling as well. What would have been a nice evening was spoiled by an unknown jerk who had run into our car and left afterwards...shit happens.

And today..

..the very moment my foot reached the pavement in the front of my University and I was hit by a wind breeze, I could swear I had travelled through time one year back, back in Aarhus.
Unfortunately, the wind hadn't the freshness of a nearby sea and reality slapped away the pleasant brief moments of daydreaming..

..still feel like an emotion detector on two feet, walking along and registering every single bit of other two-legged being's mood. And if it wasn't bad enough, it all jumps over to me as well. Thank you very much, I can't even handle my own shit!

Oh, and in case you're wondering about the title of this post.. what could be 1st January without the classic movie from Soviet times "Ирония судьбы или С легким паром!" (1975) (summary of the plot in English here). It's very funny, good acting, it perfectly describes some parts of life at Soviet times, but most of all it has the most crazy story. And beautiful songs and poems in Russian.

Farvel 2006

2006-12-31T20:21:00.000+02:00

So, yes, it's time to say goodbye.

Au revoir to 365 days of unforgetable memories, joy, lots of smiles, sorrow and heartache.
Music and extreme weather conditions, and parties :)
So many things done and seen for the first and let's hope that not for the last time.

I'm truly grateful for this wonderful year and most of all for the people I met and had the most amazing time together!

May the next year be as good as the one that's passing by to become a part of the history books.
Love, health and good friends around you!

Happy New Year!
The Year of the Pig ;)

2006-12-31T00:31:00.000+02:00

un tā es katru dienu kliedzu, bet tu nedzirdi.
pārāk skaļi un vienlaicīgi pārāk klusi.
un pa nakti cīnos pret neredzamiem mošķiem un nepārvaramiem tiltiem.
tevis te nav, bet es ilgojos.
nav baltuma, kas aizšķūrētu iestāvējošos melnumu.
vienīgi pelēki dūmi no blakus mājas skursteņa.
un auksta loga rūts..

Sajūtas

2006-12-29T18:25:00.000+02:00

Sajūta viens: īsta, dzīva, papīrā ietīta kartiņa pastkastītē starp avīžu spamiem, saburzītiem laiksrakstiem un telefonrēķiniem.
Sajūta divi: zilu tinti rakstīti burti silda sirdi.
Sajūta trīs: smaidoša blondu matu ietverta galva durvju mazās actiņas ačgārnajā pasaulē.
Sajūta četri: pārāk dzīvas fantāzijas radītas vīzijas ar skābeņu saturošu stikla burku un mazo knīpu, kas aizsūtīta tai pakaļ.
Sajūta pieci: radio atbalss virtuvē starp kartupeļu mizām un olu čaumalām.
Sajūta seši: liegi zilā debess krāsa ziemas saules norietā.
Sajūta septiņi: sāpīga atstumšanas nojausma.
Sajūta astoņi: 69 grādi pēc Fārenheita.
Sajūta deviņi: kā pēc pulksteņa noteiktas šķaudīšanas lēkmes ik stundu.

homo faber

2006-12-27T01:04:00.000+02:00

It is so surreal meeting a dear friend that has been abroad for half a year and who has come back home for the short period of holidays. Chatting and smiling.
No, that awful amount of time (one year to be exact, taking in consideration half a year before when I was away) hasn't been in between. And only then I realised how much I had missed her.

..So busy - the people. There's a long list of contacts on msn, skype, yahoo etc. but how often do we dare to start a conversation with them, overcoming the awkward and superficial "how are you phase" longing for a long talk from the bottom of your heart and a listen to the tone of their voice in your headphones or cellphone.

Yup, you are there - online, terribly missed and having no clue about it. My fault.

Bitīt ar' ārā, kā šodien lūza sirds klausoties šaušalīgo tulkojumu LNT svētku programmā iekļautajā H.Potera pilnmetrāžas otrajā attēlojumā. "Dižās pērles" no tulkotājas Irēnas-kā-viņu-tur veikuma skatīt šeit. Finanšu līdzekļi grāmatas latviskotās versijas papētīšanai un izveidotās leksikas zmantošanai godātajam telekanālam acīmredzami pietrūka. Nezinu, smieties vai raudāt, bet klajas necieņas izrādīšana pret filmas skatītājiem vēl joprojām nepamet.

Sing, sing along!

2006-12-25T17:14:00.000+02:00

Priecīgus Ziemassvētkus!
Merry Christmas!
Glædig Jul!
Kellemes Karacsonyi Unnepeket!
Feliz Navidad!

Peace on Earth?

2006-12-22T12:57:00.000+02:00

Really?
All I've seen lately are stressed out, worried, obsessed people running through shops and malls in search of necessary gift items, going to countless festivity events pretending to be thrilled about them. Of course, that statement is an exaggeration but, come on, doesn't all this fuss get on your nerves? And people are turning into psychopaths! Par psihopātiem, tieši tā!

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. /Unknown author./

Let's hope this state of mind goes away pretty soon and the Christmas feeling arrives, till then all I wish for is a little snow, my closest family members and (a peaceful) together being (they're workaholics, you know..) and fuck the presents!

Yay!

2006-12-19T15:06:00.000+02:00

I have never won in a competition. But there's always a first time for everything.

So this morning I was violently woken up by the doorbell and when I opened the door (looking like, well, shit - had gone to bed at 4 am) there was our postwoman with this package! One of 500 limited edition Roskilde Festival's Canopy Card decks! Delight, delight! :)

One of these days

2006-12-19T15:01:00.000+02:00

There are few things I absolutely adore on days like this.
Like: having my breakfast almost at lunch time; slowly browsing through morning newspapers and discovering a well-known face smiling at me from one of them. Then foolishly singing/screaming along to some music with headphones on (much to the delight of my neighbours) and breaking pencils while acting like a drummer :) And in between, training my right hands' index finger at clicking the shutter button of the digital camera, resulting in a bunch of "artistic"-kind look-ats.

Seems like things are turning back to good again and the dreadful over-emotional period is over.
Family members irritate less and there could be a chance to survive Christmas holidays, and even get a slight Christmas feeling.

Last night the temperature outside fell under zero and now there's a thin thin layer of snow alike ice, plus the sun is shining for the second day in a row.

But most of all, a smile is back upon my face. Stupid misunderstandings have been sorted out, truly missed connection to two of my beloved darlings restored.
Love-you's have never sounded as good and as truly as last night :)

Varētu pat pierast pie "pohainā, rejošā kurmīša".

14ais decembris

2006-12-14T22:54:00.000+02:00

Garām traucošas automašīnas, sevī ievilkušās, šallēs un kapucēs ietinušās cilvēku ēnas pie stūres un uz trotuāra. Laternu liegā gaisma, peļķes un dubļi, arī uz manām kedām, atstarotāji un pogveidīgie veidojumi, kas tik ērti un uzticami iegūluši ausīs dungo "kā es gribētu būt dārznieks" (P.v.). Dzestrs vējš, nosaluši pirksti, kapuce, netraucējiet!; galvenais neizlekt no kopējā bildes rāmja. Obligātā Ziemsvētku atribūtika ik uz soļa nespēj iekustināt vajadzīgajā virzienā, vismaz parku neviens nav uzdrīkstējies aiztikt (vēl nē) un tad, policijas sirēnām gaudojot, garām aizrīb Koka-Kolas sarkanie lampiņvagoni.. Pār lūpām izsprūk "še tev komercializācija". Dubļi ir vienīgais, kas šajā absurdā ir īsts.

Bet šodien. Šodien drīkst piezīmēt krustiņu kalendārā par vēl vienu izdevušos Reklāmas kursa lekciju. Ne tāpēc, ka pelēko šūniņu masa būtu ievērojami vairojusies, bet to smieklu, kopības sajūtas dēļ, ko rada semināri ar grupu darbiem. Un tad vienā nelaimīgā brīdī atklāj, ka drīz tā vairs nekad nebūs. Vismaz ne tā. Tie cilvēkbērni, ar kuriem pēdējos četrus gadus lielākā vai
mazākā mērā tika dalīti prieki un bēdas, galdu virsmas centimetri, domas un idejas, katrs aizies savu ceļu. Kārtējs deja vu, atsaucot vidusskolas beigas no atmiņu kambariem!

Emocionāli smags periods padevies un pat ar šokolādi te netiks līdzēts.
Tās pašas sarunas par "pohainā kurmja tematu" ("pohainā", nav domāts alkoholisko vielu pārdozēšanas sekas), vīrusu iznīcinošais iespaids uz nedēļas nogales plāniem, tracinoša vēlme sakravāt mantiņas un pazust no šī zemes pleķa, lai savestu kārtībā to putru, kas iekšā vārās.
Nu, kā lai pārdzīvo 24. - 26. decembri, ja visi ģimenes locekļi ir netīši tā izveduši no pacietības, ka visi kā viens, bez izņēmuma, pašlaik vienkārši tracina.

Savilkti, stīvi pleci, tikko manāmas galvassāpes, eh.
Būtu aukstasiņu čūskveidīgs radījums, nomestu veco ādu un sāktu no jauna. Sevi izturēt dažbrīd ir pārāk grūti.
Smaidu izvilina citrona šķēlītes notiesāšana un rīt ir brīvdiena. Kā tur bija, rīts gudrāks par vakaru? Uhu :) Cerība mirst pēdējā.

2006-12-12T00:39:00.000+02:00

Secinājumi iz šodienas dziļi psiholoģiskas analīzes sarunas:
Par mani, tātad. Es esot mēdeklene, pohains kurmis, kas iebetonējas un aiziet un kas uzskata, ka visi cilvēki ir hiēnas. Citāta beigas.

Sasodīts, nav...nu, NAV TĀ!

Ne dienu bez atklāsmes

2006-12-09T21:51:00.001+02:00

I wonder, vai tad, kad zilajā personapliecinošajā dokumentā iespiestais dzimumdienas datums rādīs zināmu gadu dekāžu atstatumu, vēl dzīva būs tā sajūta, tā burvīgā atklāsmes sajūta. Par lietām nenozīmīgām. Automašīnu starmešiem logā, šokolādes gabaliņiem saujā, laternas oranžo gaismu uz koku zariem, kedu aukstajām gumijas zolēm. Nozīmīgajām. Dziļi sirdī iespiedušos pofigismu, diezgan sāpīgu saspīlētu jautājumu risināšanu, "zini, tas, ko Tu teici, mani ļoti sāpināja un tā nemaz nav" - tiešā tekstā un beidzot neuzglabājot to sevī uz vēl kādiem desmit gadiem.

Pirmā eksāmenu/testu tūre beidzot galā, jē!
Piecu stundu miegs ir labāks nekā četru un pavisam jau noteikti vairāk nekā deviņu.
Saaukstēšanās vīrusa invāzija turpinās un zāles kā parasti nokauj jebkādu vēlmi un spēju gatavoties nākamās nedēļas pārbaudījumiem augstākās izglītības muklājos.
Kaut darāmā tik daudz.

Bet sapņos krāsas atgriezušās... Dienvidamerika (visticamāk), jūra vai okeāns, zilzilas debesis, kalni un dejojošas figūras apvārsnī, bet rokās foto aparāts.

we can do it!

2006-12-06T10:03:00.000+02:00

10 am in the morning and the street lights outside are shining bright.
And it's raining cats and dogs.
Where's the snow? Not to mention at least a slight Christmas feeling..

I'm head over heels in preparing for first exams for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. The most unloved classes we're having this year - Auditing and Annual (financial) reports. You think it's sounds boring, what would you think about 100 pages of bare definitions that have to be known nearly by heart.

Nah, I can manage that! There's no other way, even with a dripping nose and aching throat.
I need a hug..

Būs labi, būs labi, būs labi. Viss būs kārtībā. Tikai neliela stresa lēkme.
Ak jā, sveiciens istabiņas numero 303 iemītniekiem! ;)

Jo sirds ir tik pilna, tik pilna

2006-12-04T22:14:00.000+02:00

Cik labi, ka ir cilvēki..tādi cilvēki.
Paldies. Par sauli apmākušā rītā, par prieku sirdī, smaidu sejā un līksmu balsi telefona klausulē.
Paldies, vienkrāši par to, ka esi. Šai pasaulē.
Ka ir tas gods (bez nekāda sarkasma) Tevi pazīt un saukt par draugu.

"Draugu" - kaut arī tā ir tikai atblāzma salīdzinājumā ar to, ko Tu man patiesi nozīmē.

Bet to visu Tu jau zini.

Picture of the day

2006-12-02T14:19:00.000+02:00

Who are you staring at?

Asociatīvā analīze

2006-11-30T22:34:00.000+02:00

Oranžs.
Multilingvāls.
Plāna šokolādes kārtiņa.
Klasiska vērtība.
Brends, atvainojos - zīmols (Latvijas? Hm, atsaucoties uz Ē.Stendzenieku tādu te nav..pagaidām).
Ikvakara izsalkuma lāpītājs.
Bērnības atmiņas - miglainas.
Sieriņs satika biezpienu, vai otrādi.

Ņamm!

Acu plakstiņi drīz padosies cīņā par skaidru skatu uz pulksteņa rādītājiem. Pārāk gara diena. Izkropļotas grimases mazo klavierspēles ģeniju koncertā, ak tie nodevīgie pirksteļi! C-vitamīna deva veselai nedēļai smejot un smaidot par "būtnītēm" un citiem zvēriem. :)

Insomnia

2006-11-30T02:12:00.001+02:00

It's 2 am in the morning.
Though these days there's no big difference between day and night.
The same artificial lightning when you open and close your eyelids.

New found glory in a cup of cocoa, the flickering light of candles and smell of the late autumn leaves.

It's nice sitting here in the dimmed light of the room browsing through mp3 blogs, listening to Röyksopp, Rogue Wave, Regina Spektor, Guillemots or some guys singing in French. Having brains stuffed full with do's and don'ts of auditing (test on Friday and exams coming up in a week). Neighbours quietly snoring on the other side of the wall.

So peaceful.

Seriously, I want to have a cigarette.
Oh, and if I ever have kiddies I'll probably be one of those parents that are quietly driven crazy with nerve tension while their offsprings courageously perform in a school piano concert.

Un vēl.. gribu dziedāt par Zaļajiem gumijniekiem, kas nevadīja elektrību.

Music is what I breathe

2006-11-28T23:49:00.000+02:00

For the music addicts amongst you!

If you like the sound of acoustic guitar, nice tunes, a man dreamfully singing, nope, it's not Damien Rice, but if you still don't know who he is, check him out as well (album "O" preferably, those famous "I can't take my eyes off of you" lines). Anyway, this guy I'm talking about is Martin Crane from Texas,US. His songs sound pretty ok, indie/folk genre, makes you even want to clap hands at some point or at least to tap along to the beat with your fingers :)
You can check out half of his album here, where he has put few mp3s (free to download).

And if there's more of your free time left this guy as well - Mark David Ashworth, especially eggslkjgdfasdlevel (snapping fingers involved!).

Aaaand- Fields with Song For the Fields and Belaire with Got Me Goin'.

Big time politics

2006-11-28T00:37:00.001+02:00

Picture taken from here

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!
Welcome to the country that during the next two days will take off some spotlight from the rest of the world. As we will have the honour to baby-sit 26 (or so thay say) girls and boys of the world's most influential countries, the so called "leaders" in our capital city Rīga due to NATO summit 2006. So they can have a nice chat and play the exciting game of politics on the kindergarten playground. Ain't that cute? :)

Let's not mention the costs of the whole action, nor contemplation about if it really was necessary to have it here and now, but, yeah, it's all about politics and ambitions - big time!

An insight into modern history events happening next door, live to your living room, hown often does that happen?

:)

2006-11-27T00:36:00.001+02:00

Tin-tidli-ding!
Another week, another Sunday, pardon me, Monday already and no posts in English for whole seven days, meh! :)

Shortly: it has been a real rollercoaster of a week. Boredom and sleepiness vs events of total stress.

labnakts izpalika

2006-11-22T10:07:00.000+02:00

Lasīt Stefana Cveiga (Stefan Zweig) noveles un konkrēti Brief einer Unbekannte orģinālvalodā par dziļu, izmisušu, nelaimīgu un visai verdzisku sievietes mīlestību pret vīrieti, kas viņu nekad nepazina un neatcerējās īsi pirms aizmigšanas ir kaitīgi.

Kaitīgi priekš veselīga nakts miega.
Zemapziņa spītīgi turējās pretī pūkainiem sapņiem, izdaiļojot nakts stundas ar pāris sirds klauves izraisošām vizualizācijām, brrr..

Ir labi pamosties, zinot, ka gaisma ārā tomēr izlauzusies cauri mākoņiem.

kreizij verī kreizī

2006-11-21T22:36:00.000+02:00

Pamodos ar sapņa drumslām par to, kā ganīju veselu baru pūkaini baltu, lielacu trusīšu koloniju, bet varbūt tomēr jūras cūciņas (ausu garums nebija pārāk liels, mjā, un balti trusīši tomēr ir ar sarkanām acīm..).

Rokaspulkstenis (pareizāk sakot, tā baterija), kurš dienu iepriekš ietiepīgi bija atteicies tikšķēt tālāk, no rīta savu klātbūtni atzīmēja ar tik pazīstamajiem tik-tik trokšņiem, atpaliekot par kādām 7 stundām un laimīgā kārtā novēršot diezgan neizskaidrojamo "kā-bez-rokām-sajūtu", kad melnā gumijas siksniņa ierasti neatstāj sarkanas strīpas uz, nu, tās rokas daļas, kas seko pēc plaukstas.

Reklāmas lekcijas aplaimoja ar aizraujošu semināru ar prakstisku piesitienu (grupu darbs), kura laikā izplatījās infekciozs smieklu vīruss par visai divdomīgiem reklāmas saukļiem Laimas konfektei "Vāverīte" (un man, kā parasti, pieleca pēdējai, ak ak ak). Neiztikām arī bez saspringtiem ideju ģenerēšanas mirkļiem Nokia N-tās sērijas TV reklāmai; mērķauditorija izvirzīta - vīrieši, 25-30 g. vecumā. Bet grupiņā visas meitenes. Un tagad mēģini nu "izurbties" cauri vīriešu psiholoģijai, lai galu galā nonāktu pie scenārija ar gala saukli "Es - multimēdiju haizivs" :)

Un tad izdevās mani atkal ievilkt kārtējā avantūrā - ceturtdien būs jātulko angļu valodā augstskolas rektores ievadruna zinātniskā konferencē. Pašapliecināšanās vēlme rausta aiz apkakles ik pa laikam.. Piekritu, atpakaļceļa vairs nav, kaut lauzīšu kaklu - zaudēt jau nav ko..
Kā nekā "vienīgais radījums, kas gūst panākumus sēžot, ir vista".

Un tagad kopīgi pasmaidīsim! Ilgi un no sirds kaut vai par to, cik jaukas zeķītes Tev kājās.

What a shuffle-button can bring back to the spotlight

2006-11-20T23:03:00.000+02:00

king saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong,
and joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song,
and sonny liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove.
some things you do for money and some you do for love love love.

raskolnikov felt sick but he couldn't say why
when he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye.
some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
but the things you do for love are going to come back to you one
by one.

love love is going to lead you by the hand
into a white and soundless place.
now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
then we shall see each other face to face.

and way out in seattle young kurt cobain
snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet in his brain.
snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above,
some moments last forever, but some flare up with love love love.

love love love by the mountain goats (download here)

2006-11-20T22:28:00.000+02:00

Juhū!
Rītdienas plānojuma grafiks sola lekciju un smadzeņu piepūlēšanas pārbagātu dienu! :)
Ikdienas novērojumi liecina - pēdējo mēnešu neierastā ne-mācīšanās, laika no-sišana svarīga darāmā meklējumos un eksāmenu pie-tuvošanās un "viss vienalga attieksme", novedusi pie samērā hroniska pseido miega bada. Pēdējais laiks tam darīt galu, pirms būs kritums otrā galējības bedrē (ceļamies un ejam gulēt no/pie datora, rakstot diplomdarbu).

Ērtības iemidzina.

Un sen nav bijusi vaļsirdīga saruna. Pēdējais mēģinājums cieta smagu sakāvi ar kapitulāciju.

Dot un ņemt.
Nemāku.

Elefant

2006-11-19T21:48:00.000+02:00

An outcome of a creatively productive Friday morning lectures (mostly consisting of animal cartoons)!

Weekend was pretty much of a waste in terms of studying and stuff, though went to a theatre play again today - Alexandr Ostrovsky's "Guilty Without Guilt". Another breath-taking, heart-breaking, even a bit comic piece (plus good actors). Russian playwrights are true masters at ripping your heart out. Crunched lemon. You - afterwards.

Pūkas, ziepes un putra dzinās pakaļ vīrusam [un pēc tam cepa karbonādi]

2006-11-16T22:58:00.000+02:00

Sāku arvien biežāk sevi pieķert pavisam nepamatotā narcismā, pareizāk sakot tā izpausmēm. Kas pārsvarā novērojama pārāk ciešā (lasīt, biežā) nonākšanā kontaktā ar digitālo ziepju trauciņu aka kameru. Nospied podziņu, izdzēs, ieslēdz atkal, papildinot bezjēdzīgu kadru krājumu (kurpes, ietves, klusās dabas dažnedažādos izpildījumos). Un tomēr mierinājumam pastāv iespēja, ka vienā no simts gadījumiem kas ciešams arī sanāk.

Zinu! vainīgs pūkainais, strīpainais džemperītis ar vienkārši burvīgām krāsām :) neiespējami pretoties.

Bet vispār domas galvā jaucas kā pa putras katlu, sāp arī neliete! Šīsdienas intensīvā mācīšanās (tests angļu valodā, seminārs gada pārskata sastādīšanā) beigusies ar iekaisušām, sarkanām acīm un bezspēcības sindromu. Dziļi filozofiskas, pārdomu pilnas domas tika nosaldētas mēģinot operēt ar direct un reported speech terminiem, sociālo nodokļu aprēķinu, "aizdod-man-kalkulatoru" un "4.kursā-nestrādā-individuāli-bet-konsultējas-ar-blakussēdētāju" jūklī.

Sasodīts, un rīt lekcijas sākas jau 8.30! jāšļūc uz gultas pusi.. labnakt!

Flicks

2006-11-15T00:15:00.000+02:00

Affection that ought to be forgotten by now, wrapped up in a nice parcel with a "heartache involved" label on it and stowed away in the massive memory file for as long as it loses the taste of bitterness has been reanimated.
Foolish me, and I was still trying to figure out if it all was for real. Feelings unreal, eh? Silly..

---

Long away and far apart
That's how forest fires start
Start again it felt like this
Fresh and simple as a kiss

I bounce these feelings off the moon
The echoes don't come back

from Elbow, My Very Best

Obsession with music and literature will never end, I guess.
Just finished Parfume: The Story Of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind (will get back to it some days later).

oh..and it hasn't been snowing for quite a while.

Ne jau te

2006-11-08T22:55:00.000+02:00

Kur Tu esi, kad visvairāk vajadzētu Tavas klātbūtnes?
Zinu, ka nav taisnīgi to, kas gulst uz manas sāpošās sirds uzkraut citam. Tas ir tik.. egoistiski. Bet tādi jau mēs esam - egoisti. Domājam pārsvarā tikai par sevi, savu labumu, savām sāpēm, jā, un atlikušajā laikā par citiem, iespējams.

Un tomēr. Gribētos paraudāt uz Tava pleca, līdz tas draņķis, kas iekšā sēž un moka nervus, un vēl tos maitas gabalus no mikrobiem, kas apsēduši organismu, pazustu, aiztītos. Ak.

Likumsakarīgi - oficiāli sākusies ne pārāk veiksmīgā notikumu sērija. Strīdi, nesaskaņas, vienkārši neveiksmes. Un ar tiem tuvākajiem, mīļākajiem..protams, vai tad varētu būt savādāk?

Everyday feels like Sunday

2006-11-05T23:23:00.000+02:00

How come that clouds in autumn and spring time look so fierce, dark and gloomy in the sense of.. well, being different from other seasons? Yup, I confess I miss summer so bad it almost hurts. Snow and cold came from one day to the other overriding the unpleasent greyness period but making it completely unacceptable for my consciousness to realise that what I see truly IS THERE.

Another thing.. decision making. So (generally speaking) a day or more is spent on comming to a point where you're sure to know what would be right for you to do, but, damnit, how much of that was based on common sense,or desire, will or pure insanity? Inner feeling, can it be trusted if you realise it had deceived you...

Well, nevermind. It's full moon again, nightmares (pretty exciting ones, in fact, my) are creeping after the steps of sleep in my mind, and another week is over. Enough reasons to feel, hm, strange.

Piektdiena - melnā

2006-11-03T16:56:00.000+02:00

Tik ļoti gribētos sevi nolamāt, nu, tā kārtīgi, iz sirds.. bet lamu vārdu krājumiņš tāds mazs un neefektīvs.

Bā, padevos vispārējam spiedienam un atcēlu braucienu uz mīļumjauko Kurzemi, par ko doma pati par sevi jau silda, nevajag nemaz tējas krūzi...nožēlojami. Bet kaut kā diena šodien pavisam ačgārna, pietrūkst vēl vieninieks pie datuma - zinātu, ko vainot.
Sākot jau ar to, ka pamodos ap 5iem drebot par spīti vilnas zeķītēm kājās (nez atbildīgās personas iedomājas, ka pa nakti siltumu nevajag vai), veikalā pa grīdu no maciņa izlidoja un aizripoja sazin kur visa pusdienām domāto monētu kolekcija. Pēcpusdienā mistiskā veidā salauzts tika vienīgais mājas termometrs (tas ar dzīvsudraba stabiņu!) un vēl pa virsu kakla sāpes pastirpinājušās. Jāsāk domāt, ka visur te kādas zīmes, huh.

Nē, un piekāsēja esmu pamatīga :(
Bet gan jau šitas melnais mākonis pāries, pozitīvisma kampaņai robs tiks salabots. Ātrāk vai vēlāk.

You've (yes, you!) got a message!

2006-11-01T22:50:00.000+02:00

so I'm back from 2 day-trip to our capital city. Being full of positivism (!), finding enjoyment in smiling about nothing in particular, just 'caus it feels like doing it. Listening to adorable music, tango meets electronica - Gotan Project, jeez, love it! Have had my ass kicked to start thinking about my plans for the future, recommendations for loads of good literature and music (Gotan Project, including..I seriously should stay away from music shops *naaah* :)). Met my long-time-no-see highschool friends what turned out to be a very lovely evening.

And then, I got to know about another joyful event of one of my sweethearts and then another one. What can you do else but smile? Smile until it hurts. Ah, I'd hug the whole world :)))

Turpinot iesākto tēmu

2006-10-30T23:38:00.000+02:00

Tā, kārtējās web-lapu šķirstīšanas apsēstības procesā, nejauši uzdūros cienījamās Simbel linku sarakstam un atklāju kolosālu lapiņu ar Klāva Elsberga dzejoļiem, paldies par tādiem dārgumiem ;)

Atradu vienu, kas kā naglai uz galvas un noteikti tiks pieminēts ne vienu reizi vien..

***
jo manā pasaulē sniegi snieg
manā pasaulē būdiņa sniegos
manā pasaulē būdiņā krāsns
un tajā krāsnī ir guns

ja kāds reiz ieklīdīs pasaulē manā
tad lai viņš tajā būdiņā ieiet
tad lai viņš uzsilda ūdeni krūzītē
iedzer tēju un uzpīpo
(K.Elsbergs)

Sitting quietly on the windowsill

2006-10-30T22:19:00.000+02:00

..and watching those little tea light candles glowing in the dark with a big cup of tea keeping cold fingers warm can have a powerfull healing force. Too bad that there's no windowsill in sight here but the most perfect one had to be left behind in good ol' Dane-land; of a perfect room for lost souls, dreamers, romantics, cynics and everyone else that shared an affection for Danish beer, and not only. Oh, I miss those days and those people.

But back to the main point - last weekend was so emotion-filled that only now there's some room for daily ramblings.

On Friday I went to see Shakespeare's King Lear in our local theater and, as expected, I wasn't disappointed - the actors delivered a mind-blowing performance (see pictures in the other post), costumes, stage design, lights, huh! so good.. It hit me harder than I thought it would, you know, those hurricanes that destroy the balance in your inner world for a while.

Talking about hurricanes, we had sort of a windstorm as well that blew over half of the country leaving many without electricity, crashed trees and sweeping away the last warm days of the year.

And so on Saturday I felt like a boat carried too far away from the water left on the sandy shore. But crazy ideas appear in times like these. Like taking a stroll with friends through the forest down to the river banks in between fighting with umbrellas and the stormy cold weather :) fun!

That's the story! And I'm off to Rīga for few days. Take care my tea-addicted friends.

Karalis Līrs

2006-10-28T14:24:00.000+03:00

Nezinu, kā īsti ietērpt vārdos vakardienas teātra izrādi. Un tās emocijas..

Vēl joprojām sajūta tāda, ka sēžu uz skatuves un saspringti iekrampējusies krēslā vēroju visu notiekošo, rokas stiepiena attālumā no dvēseli plosošā aktiertēlojuma. Jāatzīstas, ka lugu neesmu lasījusi un vidusskolas obligātajā literatūras repertuārā iekļautais Šekspīrs neiedvesmoja, zināju vien sauso sižeta līniju - Karalis, vecs, biš prātu izkūkojis, liek savām trim meitām izklāstīt, cik ļoti tās viņu mīl un izrietot no tā sadalīt Britāniju attiecīgās daļās.. pirmais cēliens pagāja vienā elpas vilcienā, gluži kā otrais. Režisors, kvalitātes zīme pati par sevi, savos 85 gados tiešām radījis... ak, tomēr nespēju izstāstīt, I'm speechless.

Mūsdienu iezīmes sapludinātas ar klasisko; kostīmi, dekorācijas, gaismas, grims, pats galvenais - aktierspēle! Ne velti Valmieras Drāmas teātris pēdējos gados nereti "sit pušu" dažu labu Rīgas teātri. (Bildes no teātra mājas lapas.)

Pozitīvisms

2006-10-26T23:22:00.000+03:00

English reading human beings see the note at the end!

Viena lieta ir skaidra gluži kā tas, ka ārā pašlaik gāž kā no spaiņiem un piesolītā vētra tomēr tuvojas, proti - pozitīvisms darbojas. Jebšu pašlaik pilnā mērā īstenojas iekāpšana zebras kažociņa baltajā strīpojumā. Pareizi, laikam neesmu ne reizi (kauns!) pieminējusi savu teoriju par dzīves līknes, notikumu, kas nu kuram tuvāks, paralēlo lidojumu un sakritību ar zebras dikti jauko svītrojumu. Zini - melns, balts, melns, balts, šaurāka, platāka, pavisam šauriņa, plata kā Ventas rumba strīpa ū tē tē un tā joprojām.

Ak, šī verbālā - vārdu dzimatajā mēlē - caureja, nē, nesaturēšana! un monologs ar sevi un Tevi! komentārus neprasa, vienkārši tagad šiten te
>>>> .......................... <<<< ieliec visu, ko patlaban domā. (Brīva vieta pārdomāma, ne tikai reklāmas saukļiem.)

Bet ko var gribēt.. saskaņā ar vakar apmeklēto daiļi izglītojošo augstskolas saviesīgi ārpus-lekciju pasākumu vārdā "paraugdebates" parlamentārajā debatēšanas mākslā, kur dalību ņēma un ar savu spīdošo performanci ausis, acis priecēja un nevienu vien plaukstu šūnu virskārtas slāni tamdēļ nodeldēju plaukšķinot ačtelēm spīdot dārgumdārgie pasniedzēji Aigars un Maira un citi mazāk ievērojami kadri, secināju:

minerālūdens ir iekļaujams alkoholisko dzērienu sarakstā, un ar steigu. Mī un žē, nekad, nu nekad mūžā nejaukšu šo vielu ar citiem līdzīgas dabas dzēriniem (galvassāpes garantētas);

sekojot iepriekšējam punktam un kas ir vēl svarīgāk - mans būt ārstējams no "ūdens" atkarības, jo "ūdens" būt narkotiskā viela, no kuras izstiepies vai saraujies tiekam padarīti atkarīgi no īkšķu sūkāšanas vecuma;

treškārt, ir cilvēki, kuriem dots talants nebūt uz mutes kritušiem un ir tie otri ..kritušie (mana statistiskā kopa).

Tā lūk!

Ak jā, šīs dienas veikums galvenokārt ievērojams ar mazumiņu miega stundu (Gredzena pavēlnieka otrā grāmata ievaņģojusi savā tīklā, kāds vēl tur miegs!), dažām saules pilnām stundām un tagad sekos galvenās ievērības cienīgais fakts - pilnīga un galīga nodošanās studiju procesam, proti, grupu darbs par transporta nozares analīzi. Nogurums laužas ārā pa visām spraudziņām kaut arī derētu vēl izdomāt, ko minētās tēmas sakarā rīt teikt darba prezentācijā. Bet, godīgi sakot, pašlaik man pie auss (kāja sāp - nedrīkst aiztikt)! Anit' iet gulēt! Samīļosi uz labu nakti? :)

PS. Rīt skalosim smadzenes tīras no visiem TV zaņķiem un pārējām drazām, piepildīšu dvēsli ar Šekspīru, Karali Līru un Valmieras teātri!

For sweethearts reading only in English: apologies for being so rude in totally dedicating these lines for Finnish but no worries you haven't missed anything! I had two wonderful days keeping up my positivism campaign and today was just overly exhausting and busy with writing group work and preparing a presentation for Auditing. Life is still a bitch but I like it this way anyway, no I will never admit that statement again ;) Sleep tight fluffies & beware of bed bugs!

Nothing important at all, just had to let it go

2006-10-24T23:05:00.000+03:00

First of all, hate when few certain moments can mess up the whole day. No, it's not the rain, surprisingly enough it has been like an old good friend last days, even not the overwhelming greyness outside, nor school. But an innocent question "I bought this and that/ these today, how does it look?". Damnit, there's a big pitfall right in front - tell what you really think and it's nothing bad at all, nothing to take offence about OR play along to the excitement of the person feeling like quite a liar. Imagine taking option number one and slam! you see a sour face right in front of you!

Secondly, having headaches from one day to another, aching knees and a slight temperature don't make you feel comfortable at all.

Thirdly, my frequently used words i.e. vocabulary in both English and Latvian is starting to reach the level of an elevenyear old.

Fourthly, should develop a total-positivism attidtude with the coming Wednesday as testing ground, at least for one day.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnit!

Heart beat

2006-10-24T10:11:00.000+03:00

Oh tell me what is colour,
When all the world is black and white,
And tell me what you reach for,
When all the stars are out of sight,
Oh tell me what you'd give,
To be woken by a kiss in the morning light,
Do you feel alright.

Blackbud - Heartbeat (Single Version) (high-ly recommended download, here)

A little romantic, slightly melancholic mood will do good for the beginning. And if you dedicate some of your precious time to listen to the upper mentioned song (what you really should), I'll just add that the second verse ain't less adorable.

Oh tell me what you'd give,
For a hand to hold in the cold cold rain..

Don't we all wish that?

Anyway, haven't been blogging for quite a while again having issues with English vs Latvian, less free time and etc etc.

Autumn is in full motion here by now, showing itself at its best qualities before turning into a weakening factor for most human creatures. Until then, variety of green, yellow and orange colours brighten looks outside, cheer up the mood with few sunbeams and last warm days make you forget it's the last days of October and first Christmas offer advertising junk is starting to flow into the mailbox. *Time for false expectations - ahh, the Summer isn't far. Smile!*

Not to get black holes in my memory (consequences because of the lack of calendar with a time schedule) brief recap of last week. Monday, right! Spent a wonderful evening at the dorms with my good, good friend watching our favourite series of Desperate Housewives, having beer, damaging health even more (but who cares about the next morning at that moment?), chatting, making waffles before she was to leave for a fortnight to be spend in Spain.

Until Friday was busy getting myself to study for unpleasant and tricky tests in English and Auditing that didn't go too good, well... Despite that, Friday classes were finished with a deserved shout of "Yay, the weekend can begin!".

So, I packed my bag and joined my family for a 5-hour car trip to West Latvia (Kurzeme) to visit my grandmother.

Oh, btw, did you know that shrimps glow in the dark? :) I'd appreciate if someone could light me up on this phenomenon!

2006-10-15T22:09:00.000+03:00

Neizdibināmas, asas sāpes sirds rajonā, sen tā atkal nav bijis..
Nē, un ar ārstiem labas attiecības nu it nemaz nav.

Un, jo čābiskāk jūtos, jo vairāk gribas kaut ko dzimtajā mēlē uzdrukāt; tik, dīvainā kārtā, iekšā ir, bet ārā nenāk.

Glimpses of a Friday

2006-10-14T14:23:00.000+03:00

Yes, that's the misterious mist! Regretful that my morning stroll to school didn't go along the river as the view there had been tremendous, as I was told.

Chaos, reflection and a window to a brick wall..

So far, yet so close and fragile...the world outside.

Jump or not?

I didn't notice that it was Friday the 13th until somebody mentioned it after half of the day was already over. Drawing a conclusion - superstition, heh?

2006-10-11T18:19:00.000+03:00

You know these days when you feel and act like a bull in a china shop? (LV version - "elephant in a dish shop" sounds much better, doesn't it?). Somedays are just meant for that. Your umbrella has an evil intention to crash into one of the uncountable shelves in a silent library full of people that pretend to be working hard on their projects; the door slams with a big bang; goods at the shop are placed at the right place to be knocked down with too big shopping bags and, yes, I probably look impolite with earphones in my ears and music constantly playing.

Anyhow, *khi khi*, it's funny how I was silently cursing at myself all the time today for being so clumsy.

At least my small universe seems to be rotating back into more innerly calm area. Some issues that couldn't leave me in peace even in my sleep have been brought to a close...at least for now.
Though others have raised - what in the world should I take as my bachelor theme? Yuckie yuck - months of constant browsing through materials and too many hours by the pc don't bring back pleasent memories. But let's forget about it for few more weeks!

Until then I'll spend more and more time somewhere in darkness with few candles giving some sort of light, listening to Elbow, Tori Amos, The Whitest Boy Alive or reading a good piece of fiction. Oh, btw I just finished Michael Cunningham's Flesh and Blood! am still amased by his ability to describe all those details of daily life that you so easily forget.

Well, that's it for now! I should force myself to do my English homework for tomorrow. Take care!

what a fool

2006-10-08T23:23:00.000+03:00

The night was long yesterday, so long that even coffee couldn't kick my brains to start working.
But it left hope for more peaceful and stable future, mja that was naive, as we say here "hope is the comfort of the fool" freely translating.

Anyway, finally! Finally I made a cosy home cinema atmosphere in my small, stuffed room. The choice was hard but lastly the right movie was picked (Million Dollar Baby) and I had my dose of tears.

Jeez, how my legs hurt right now! 6 hours of walking marathon through a mall ain't no relaxation - it's hard work! Then at the end you realise that either you're a hopeless case or fashion this year is the most doomed ever. BUT and there really is a "but" - I found very adorable pair of shoes, well ok - sneakers. Didn't know things like that can bring at least a bit of joy, me not being a girlie girl at all :)

...*Yawn* I should get in bed at a reasonable time, good night chipmunks!

2006-10-07T21:05:00.000+03:00

Accidentally met an old friend not seen for billion years.
Weird estrangement, weird coincidence, weird environment.

A view on fireworks right from our balcony.
Despite that nobody knew for who it was actually meant people from surrounding houses were grateful, uplifting ovations :)

Waiting is nerve wrecking.
Take care you lovely bunch of people who occasionaly pop by! I'm off to fulfil my longing after a movie in candle light surroundings and a cold Danish beer.

Btw, my creepy nightmares are back. And this post has as much sense as adverts about washing -powders

2006-10-06T22:34:00.000+03:00

Nemiers tirda.
Feeling of unrest.

Nu jā, mēnestiņš ārā diez ko saulainu un mierīgu sajūtu nerada, un vēl viena diena pagājusi. Tu mani ignorē, es Tevi tāpat un tā sirds sadrūp pa mazam gabaliņam, atdalās ik dienas. Varbūt samierināšos un iestāstīšu tam muļķīgajam orgānam, ka pieķeršanās ir tikai īslaicīga, pāries.. melot sev jau nav kaitīgi. Droši vien esmu to pelnījusi, bet atvainoties par to, ka esmu tāda kāda esmu, netaisos.

Feels like making barricades around my room and block every possible entrance, even for light, light up candles, creep under a blanket and watch a heartbreaking movie (The Hours? Dogville? Dancer In The Dark? The Pianist? suggestions??) that drives a hurricane over your tiny world and leaves you in a pile of scrunched and soaking handkerchiefs.

I guess it's time to post some new drawings.

Leaves do fall while you're being brainwashed

2006-10-06T20:00:00.001+03:00

What do you know, it's already Friday and another weekend ahead!

The week flew by in a blink of an eye, especially because my lecture schedule was light years afar from being tight, but it would be a sacrilege to complain about extra days off, even more as the coming weeks promise to be very exhausting.

Anyway...yesterday. Was spent mostly with or waiting for my little sister who had to be taken from one out-of-school activity to another. It was a nice autumnal day and I managed to shoot some equally nice pictures until it started raining. But it wasn't a calming and harmless pattering - it was a real shower (I bet somewhere there really were some cats and dogs coming down!). AND of course I had forgotten to take an umbrella, hail to my common sense! Leaving the part of being wet and cold out, jumping over puddles with sis was much fun :) and raindrops sparkling in the sunshine later brought back a bright smile.

Oh, and did you see the to-become-full-moon covered up in clouds yesterday? Creepy!

Returning to the topic "weekend".
Tomorrow is a remarkable day, want it or not. The last chapter of the epopee called "Latvian parliamentary elections" will be written and I can't tell you how much I'm fed up with all the fuss around it. Not the fact itself but all those agitation events and adverts. You can't even have your morning cup of coffee without feeling brainwashed with never-ending "we will fight against this, this and that; everything is so bad but we are the right ones to make it better; bla bla bla".

I'm definitely overly sensitive about it.. though it should be the opposite having quite a strong link with (all what refers) politics, hmf. Maybe it's the fear of changes and uncertainty that they are ought to bring...

*commercial break for theme related contemplation*

Q: Do you know who are you going to vote for?
A: It's not a question of "who for" rather then "who against" - against others. [Mr J.Domburs]

2006-10-02T17:04:00.000+03:00

Miglas pilns rīts,
pēc vakardienas negaisa ar vārdos neizsakāmu miera, svaiguma un tikko pļautas zāles sajūtu un smaržu jūkli.
Rudens aizkavējies,
kaut gan neskumstu - tā nestajai pelēcības melanholijai laika vēl pietiks.

Rimtā solī Heartbeats melodijai zumzinot ausīs dodos uz skolu pa dubļainām taciņām, sen nemītām. Zāles stiebru sulīgi zaļā krāsa it nemaz neliecina par oktobra pienākšanu. Tā knapi noturos neaizčāpojot garām rosīgajai augstskolas ēkai, nolūkā apstāties tikai pie soliņa Gaujas otrā krastā, kā ezītim ietīties migliņā un vērot tās kustību pa lēni plūstošajām straumītēm..

Pēc stundas tomēr savācu savas mantiņas un aizlaižos no lekcijām; ejam barot pīles!

Dienas pelēcību gribas turēt cieši klāt, nelaist prom, dīvaini tuva tā šodien. Sajūta trausla, pārāk ātri gaistoša un tomēr iekšēji tik plosoša, sāpīgi..

Atrodu slēptuvīti starp kokiem, mežiņā, kur mūs bērndārza laikā veda pastaigāties, kur pilsētas haosa trokšņi skan tikai kā apslāpēts fons dzeņa klaudzināšanai. Priežu skujas matos, to smarža visapkārt. Derētu iestādīt čiekuru, koks izaugtu?

Man Tevis ļoti pietrūkst, kaut izliekos, ka tā nav. Paklusēt kopā... bet stāsts nebija par to un Tu tāpat te neiegriezies.

(even more) briefly

2006-10-01T22:04:00.000+03:00

October 1 (if nobody has noticed)
Thunderstorm !!! (it should be snowing or something)

Me at a bus stop (all consisting of metal)
Thunderbolt and thunder at the same time
Legs of jelly and trembling feeling inside for the rest of the day (afterwards)

Ongoing thunder flashes in the darkness, such a beauty!

Oh, did I tell you I'm paraniod of thunderstorms?
And it's not a wise idea to drink strong coffee late in the evening!

Brief recap

2006-09-30T20:37:00.000+03:00

Friday

My second attempt at being an interpreter was quite fun. I had to translate for an elderly American guy that had given some lectures at my university several years ago and knew a bit of Latvian. The event itself was a student research papers conference about different themes starting from tourism till IT, and apart from IT everything else went ok.

At the evening there was the culmination point of the 10-year anniversary celebration at my school - party/ball-something! With everyone looking so smart in dresses and suits, having fun dancing or getting henna-tattoos done. ~~I'll post some more pics some days later when I manage to collect most of them from my coursemates, till then enjoy these!~~

Saturday

Stayed at the dorms overnight, was violently woken up by some guys screaming somewhere outside. No food for breakfast, passionate discussions what to do in this case. Decision to order pizza what in turn could be done only after 12 o'clock (jeez, what a shitty service!). Anyway, the rest of the day was spent in a slightly grumpy mood but still fun.

atvaino, lūdzu / apologise

2006-09-28T23:07:00.000+03:00

It's official!!

At least once in a while I somehow manage to turn into a complete idiot saying or doing things I afterwards truly regret, just like yesterday...and it's even more irritating because I act like that only with people I really, really care about.

I am aware that it comes from the equally silly fear of being rejected. It took 21 years to realise that, so will it take another 20 years to stop behaving childlishly and grow up?

. . .

2006-09-27T11:08:00.000+03:00

Izmisīgi meklēju...

kā palēnināt laika neprātīgo joņošanu..

Ongoing emotional hangover

2006-09-26T21:32:00.000+03:00

It seems like we have a new and regular resident - the mist is here to stay for long! It's there at the wakening time covering all roofs in a fluffy, moist cloud, adding afro-effect to your new made hairstyle, it's there after the sun has set and left us with few hardly generous hours of its delight. And then, I fear, it steals a part of peoples' souls catering from energy and happiness reserves. One more day and we'll have the George Orwell's 1984-alike gloomy and dull environment brought in reality.

Another sign that I'm turning into a grim, grim creature is the return of good ol' Brit, "dark knight" Tom McRae to my playlist. At least I finally found his CD in the only useful music shop in Rīga for a reduced price, whooray!

And to continue this oh-so-logical coherence of possible reasons why I am a really unbearable person these days that bothers people that apparently don't want to be bothered, here's another thing. It's my last year of Bachelor and I have not even a slight clue what I want to study further, not to mention any occupation overall. *sigh*

Mī iz bek

2006-09-25T23:21:00.000+03:00

Do what you like
you dont have to be nice
just pour yourself a cup of coffee
leave anytime you dont have to be right
you've gotta live the best you know how

and if you love well that should be enough
instead it turns your joy into sorrow
and I cant breath with the dust of retreat
I'm choking on the fumes of my wayward back...

From A Sea Chanty Of Sorts by Margot & The Nuclear So and So's

Weirdly enough (in the best way imaginable), today I found out that I'm a music saviour *loud laugh*, thank you André :)))
I try my best to repay my debt to the people who first showed me what is good music (shhh! sure, you don't argue about matter of taste, but leave me the brief moment of vanity) by continuing their job.

For anyone who's interested, here's a tip of my late discovery - Margot & the Nuclear So and So's. Their songs seemed quite simple at first but focusing on lyrics they reveal a much darker side, can't stop listening to be it Dress Me Like A Clown, Skeleton Key or MySpace download Real Naked Girls.
And I guess you noticed that I'm back from my trip...anyway, that's it with English now!

Biju nepamatoti aizmirsusi, cik skaista ir Kurzeme.. un, kamēr vēroju miglas vālus rītausmas un saulrieta sarkanajā gaismā, tās daiļums izlauza ceļu uz manu ierūsējošo atmiņu. Šī nedēļas nogale bija vairāk kā burvīga..

..tāpēc droši vien tagad ir tik grūti - aizraujošo izraušanās no ikdienas vienmuļības sajūtu un neizsakāmu prieku satikt tuvu draugu šodien nomainīja sen nebijusi smeldze, atgriežoties vecajos rāmjos, pusi dienas čumčinot autobusu sēdekļos, cerībā, ka vismaz mēģinājumos pagulēt viss pārējais tiks aizmirsts.

Tracinoša emocionalitāte! Un kaut niecīga imunitāte pret rudens depresīvo nosakņojumu vismaz pagaidām? pffff! Ar atgriešanos depresij!

Empty feeling

2006-09-21T22:46:00.000+03:00

Huh, Thursdays are so tiring being so close yet so far away from the weekend. And then the non-ventilation system in lecture-rooms in my Uni are definitely built for ruining brain cells, not for stimulating their activity and making you damn apathetic for the rest of the day. Yup, I'm moaning big time (bloody grumpy mood)!

I just feel so empty..

Anyway, the main reason for this post was to make you aware of possible lack of posts next days as I'm heading to the Western part of Latvia tomorrow after lectures to pay a visit to my beloved friend Dārta :)

Ps. Couldn't keep myself off from posting this lovely picture in the name of memories of my Danish dorm apartment.

Lightning without thunder and meat ball soup

2006-09-19T22:28:00.000+03:00

I bet there is a movie with this plot where the main character suddenly realises that his life is just a part of a fiction movie... today felt exactly like that.. With bits of daily events slowly drifting by like pieces of a negative film.

And then I blame the bloody hormones for regular and sudden mood changes!

Today brought a novelty in my lecture schedule in the form of lectures about advertisements, we had to write an essay called "I and advertisements", pfff! Although I truly hate writing essays at times this was a perfect opportunity to let out all my annoyance and sorrow about TV commercials that have become even worse with the appearance of political ones for elections.

English classes went by as fast as always. And again, when you expect it the least, suddenly you are signed up for helping your University as an interpreter for foreign guests (or who knows what else) on its 10-year anniversary events. No idea what I have gotten myself into again.. anyhow, sounds like a lot of fun :)

All these "so exciting" plot-turns, lack of fresh air, signs of certain thunderstorm closeness (in September!!!!), cosy chatting with friends and tasting of their masterpiece-like meat ball soup (mmm, yummy!!!), walking back home from dorms in a quite lack of light and beautiful lightning at the edge of the skyline brought me home in a light-hearted mood. I found great delight in long forgotten audiobook files of Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita in Russian on my laptop, Emīla Dārziņa Melanholiskais valsis, Prāta vētras Neatgriešanās and Imanta Kalniņa classical songs...

I can't make short posts, my horror!

If days had legs..

2006-09-17T23:55:00.000+03:00

..they'd be running the 100 metres sprint distance.

Sunday knocked at the window pane quite early for a weekend this morning when I forced my light green socks to lead me to the living room in fear of missing one of my favourite comedy shows (can't help it - I love Brittish humour).

Most of the week was spent in an overly stressed mood due to Uni issues and time was/is flying at the speed of light again (though it might be reasonable to suppose that this phenomenon is a product of too many "the end of the world is close" American movies in a short period of time, bloody TV!).

In between, managed to sort out over 100 photos from my Aarhus picture folder full of cherished memories and took them for developing. Now there's a huge pile of photos waiting to be integrated in my-to-become-room's interrior ;)

Then...on Saturday joined my family for shopping in our capital city. Jeez, malls full of crap you wouldn't possibly want to buy and the only thing you get at the end is aching feet.. or to my luck another great book!

And before I forget - slogan for the next half year: Make friends with your cup of tea :))

(Yup, another lecture of auditing!)

Traffic Report

2006-09-10T23:14:00.000+03:00

I shall spare you several inches' long tractate about generally pretty boring stuff what only I find interesting, plus I'm fiting hard not to start writing in Latvian as my English vocabulary seems to get rather dry and afterall, to put your heart on the pavement is more difficult than I once thought.

Just few notes for a memory backup - a truly wonderful week; bright smile under a green umbrela running through a real cloudburst; priceless time spent together with my beloved friends; birthday party, whooray!; head full of thoughts and happy memories. If it's possible then my heart has grown twice as big. Life sometimes can be so wonderful.

And last but not least, something I was busy with during an exciting, exciting lecture about auditing.

It's all about the attitude

2006-09-07T09:42:00.000+03:00

September always brings a considerable portion of gloominess and first signs of how easily you can get on the way to feel depressed (oh, yes, I do find any excuses for me being like that). Hours of natural light get less and less and if you hardly can keep yourself off from singing raindrops keep falling on my head or why does it always raaaaain on me, wondering how many puddles you'll have to conquer to get to school, then you're definitely enjoying fall à la Latvian style!

But, hang on, something isn't really matching...right! Till then we might get lucky and have some days worth to remember, when the weather gods are fooling around and throwing literally eye-blinding colours in your eye (no, it's not the mascara making you cry!).

Afterall, we're fortunate enough to experience all 4 seasoons in full motion. And what does a cup of hot/warm, with milk/or without, herbal/or not tea, cold fingers & feet, longing for candle light remind you of? Exactly! - cosy evening-together-beings and cuddling with your friends (and not only).. :)

I'm falling out of my usual low-spirited self - it feels like smiling, jumping around and dancing (not that anyone should ever see that, heh) without no reason. The bloody full moon is really creepy and today even with a partial lunar eclipse. No fighting in any sort today, please!

So, to avoid collisions and keep spirits high, some suggestions:

go out for a walk. I did! - yesterday. Payed my old highschool building and the unforgettable green spot around it a visit:

play hide and seek with a hopping, sniffing, long-ear rabbit (dogs, cats and other adorable animal creatures will do!)
listen to rise & shine like-ish music!
read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho;
do something incredibly stupid for what you wouldn't have the courage any other time;
add more things to the list and don't forget to carry them out!

Have a nice day!
Say yes to gumboots with silly flowers and butterflies!

Fascinating views

2006-09-02T12:02:00.000+03:00

So, yesterday had something more in it than a usual thank-god-it's-friday-again day.

Little and not so little kiddies, like ducks flying away to places where it's warmer, left their playgrounds, put on white shirts, black skirts and suits, had flowers in their hands and headed to the place where they will spend most of their time during the next 10 or so months.
Yup, it was the first school day - a lot of chatting, new faces, boring speeches, less and less will to learn with each year, heh.

As for me, we had a rather boring first September event at my uni comparing with the previous year. But I met most of my course mates that I had not seen for what felt like a year. We gathered in a little bunch and to keep tradition alive had some pizza :)

Fascinating views?

..how tender falls light on the stairs.

..a piece of history in the huge birdless, bright blue sky.

..and then insomnia.
Still frantically looking for inner peace. Any help? Nah, forget it.

Diamonds sparkle even at night

2006-08-31T17:01:00.000+03:00

..Or at least this one does, but let's leave it for later.

Short sentence's day.

It's 5pm and bloody dark.
No sight of sunshine for a week.
Overall mood last days has adapted to the gloomy, grey weather.
Or maybe it's vice versa.

There are few undisputable things in this life.
Bloody balance in completely everything. It's easier to just be/live if you're not thinking too much or not at all. You're constantly missing something.
Missing people that are dear to you.
And it gets worse with every single day.

Strong desire to dissect my heart and put it outside on the balcony so it could drive someone else crazy and let me breathe for at least a moment..

Headphones.
A shelter to hide.
Music.

It was something of an end
Of a lovely a wild thing
So beautiful in the morning
You're beautiful
So beautiful
You're beautiful in the morning

And I can't seem to get it through your head
No matter what I do
I can't seem to get it through your head
That I always love you

..So simple and beautiful.
My Brightest Diamond.

mp3 My Brightest Diamond - Something Of An End

Longing

2006-08-29T22:46:00.000+03:00

Late evening strolls to the nearest shop for necessary food items for breakfast can hide tricky pitfalls. And it's impossible to tell when exactly you fell for it.

So, I was joyfully walking down the road back home and swinging my "shopping bag" as it came! A bunch of memory flashes and strange revelations!!

...University will start next week, my dear friends will be back in town and my "old life" - is returning in full motion. Not that it's anything bad, but I have changed. Maybe not that radically but enough to finally realize that I don't want everything as it was half a year ago to stay that way no longer than necessary.

Being back home is great, but I'm starting to get nervous and stressed about all that happens around. As odd as it seems to me now, in Aarhus I had obtained an inner peace what I have lost again.

And (gonna repeat myself again) I'm truly and terribly missing Aarhus, ASB, my dorm, the people there, my room... must be some sort of emotion delay.

Sigh!

Traffic jams and conjunctions

2006-08-28T21:41:00.000+03:00

As for trying to keep my head busy with only few traffic lanes (as the opposite appears to be overly harmful), there is always something sneaking in between creating a weird everlasting balance. Was it the entire doctor-hospital issue that, I fear, hasn't quite reached its grand finale, but let's cross fingers for the best, or my messed up internship.

Nonetheless, the other side of the coin seems to scratch more lines or leave deeper footprints in the memory that tend to be kept longer than just for a blink of an eye.

..the morning/evening breeze gently going through your hair..what do you feel? what can you feel?
..definite evidence that autumn is pulling at the swaying tree leaves.
..regreting that you can't capture priceless moments of talks with your friends from the bottom of the heart.
.. "Those three words, are said too much, they're not enough." too true.
..music - caters the soul, lulls in the ears, perfectly fitting the mood. Love the sound of acoustic guitar!
..all-embracing peace on the country side on a wonderful saturday evening.

Brief note

2006-08-25T22:22:00.000+03:00

Must apologise for not posting at all lately. But you know, I've been sick.
And the catch for the whole thing is that it's not moving towards a healthful and sparkling Anita in full-scale at the right pace. So, my doctor felt it was the right day to make me even more nervous and terrified and decided to send me back to the hospital again for additional tests and so on...for few days or a week, or more...
At least she left me a microscopic hope that the hospital-people would MAYBE let me go home at the evenings, hah, have to force myslef not to count much on that.
Well, we'll see how it goes!

Take good care of yourself, my beloved ones!!!

It's those tiny little sparks!

2006-08-15T23:15:00.000+03:00

"True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for awhile. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off."

"I haven't seen you in a while, yet I often imagine all your expressions. I haven't spoken to you recently, but many times I hear your thoughts. Good friends must not always be together. It is the feeling of oneness, when distant that proves a lasting."

Got nothing much to add to the upper mentioned quotes as they perfectly state what I had on my mind yesterday (and in general anyway). Simply be thankful that there are at least some very wonderful people in this screwed up world we live in!

A voice on your cell phone or few really unexpected messages in one of your uncountable electronic mailboxes (I wonder, has anyone added via post-sent letters to the dying out species?) - enough to put a big, silly smile upon your face and a warm, positive thought blanket round your heart.

..one of my rare attempts to make a self portrait :)

Regarding everything else - have started my internship that was interrupted under constraint and still dealing with consequences from being sick.

PS. As far as the file hosting site comes back to life, hopefully soon I'll post some treats for the ears!

PPS. Here are the promised ear-treats! Caution: they are very catchy, humming along guaranteed!

mp3 Frou Frou - Breathe In (Remix)

mp3 Office - The Big Bang Jump!

Update

2006-08-11T22:34:00.000+03:00

So, an update to my health condition as it's the most important (and probably only) central event around which my small universe has been circling for the last weeks.

Quoting my doctor I am not "completely well, but there's a tendency to the right way".

I've been monitored quite carefully lately and looks like I won't get rid of the visits to the doctor so soon, nor the medicine that has to be taken for the sake of recovery whose list becomes longer with each visit. Only if it all could help my irritating lack of any sort of enegry...can't remember when was the last time (primary school maybe) when I went to bed so bloody early feeling too tired to keep an eye open.

Then been forbidden to do any hard physical work, eat ice-cream, apparently drink any sort of alcohol as well (no beer! jeez) and prescribed to when-it's-not-so-hot-outside evening strolls. Man..I feel like an old lady!!!

*Yaaaawn* sleeping time has come! Good night folks!
Oh, and Beware of germs! ;)

Official Announcement!

2006-08-07T20:24:00.000+03:00

Nothing has happened to my blog, as far as I know. It's still floating somewhere around the World Wide Web firmly sticking to the "web's threads" and is meant to stay there for quite a while.

Another story is that it has been neglected for a very long time...for an excusable reason. As I had mentioned weeks before, I was feeling sick, consequently visiting a doctor. Anyway, to make a long and painful story short: the treatment was rather "not so good" and I ended in hospital.

So there you have - a whole week spent in the oh-so-cosy (can you feel the sarcasm?) apartment of the 4-white-wall-room building. Don't get me too wrong I'm more than thankful of getting there - at last I can feel some interest about the rest of the world re-appearing in me :)
Ohh, and bless the nurses! that job is...huh...

No matter how, have to recover a lot of energy and brain cells, but I'm back!

Here we go again

2006-07-24T23:55:00.000+03:00

This is a short attempt to show that I'm still here, alive..well, almost..and have not forgotten about my blue-coloured blog space.

In overall: the state of my health hasn't gotten better, in spite that there were some signs of the way up again but today I was finally forced to pay a visit to a "nice" doctor lady.
Whooray, to the newest addition to my daily menu - the cute capsules of antibiotics - that definitely will enrich everything!

Sorry, apparently recovering from high temperature affects my eloquence and sense for sarcasm more than usually, ha.

Anyway, I know that there's a lack of a final Roskilde post, gonna do sth about it during the next days!

PS. Lying in a half-nightmarish/awake condition last days has made longing for Aarhus, the good ol' dorm and the exchange student bunch even bigger. Terribly miss you guys!

Roskilde festival 2006 (Part IV)

2006-07-15T13:25:00.000+03:00

Update on the latest events: I've been quite lazy with posting this week, sorry!
Have spent a lot of time at the sea trying to overcome the before mentioned heat-wave, dedicating as much time to one of my guilty pleasures too - the latest book in the Harry Potter sequence, Latvian translation. Sobbing like a baby again..I wonder if the Rowling lady sacrifices more characters for the sake of closer-to-reality vs. well-known-structure-of-events plot, I'll be sobbing more than that or seriously overthink including Potter in my favourite book list.
Anyway, it got me into a lot of productive and mostly non-productive thinking (probably it's still a part of the acclimatization process) about events of the last half a year.
Then, have managed to catch a nasty cold. I hate the numb feeling medicine gives but the fear of ending with another angina with fever is too big, real dilemma, mja.

A step back to more exciting things:
The sun was high in the sky on Friday with feather-like clouds gliding along it and the day in Roksilde came with a slight tiredness from soul-nutrition of the previous day. It turned out to be the best day of the festival.

The first one to go and a gig I was mostly looking forward to with a huge dose of impatience was Martha Wainwright, member of the famous McGarrigle/Wainwright musician dynasty.
Last summer I had accidentally come across with one of her songs on a Q Music Magazine CD compilation. Had never heard anything about any of the Wainwrights before, but the haunting vocals of that particular song got me stunned and the search for more info started. Finally, her debut album came into my reach and her music had obtained my love and so did her life performance in Roskilde on the small, cosy Pavilion stage.

Only Martha, her guitar and her great, great, great voice...she took the crowd immediately and I was surprised that so many people knew her and her music that well, a strong Danish fanbase :)
She played songs from her album, a couple of b-sides, as well as her father's Pretty Good Day and Leonard Cohen's Tower Of Song, and one of my favourites Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole in the encore.

But the most enjoyable thing along with the music was Martha's stage presence. A confession of love by a guy from the crowd couldn't get Martha too confused (the slight blush on her face was adorable, however), instead an appropriate twist in the lyrics of the song she was singing was brought in. The intimate and laid-back atmosphere stayed for the rest of the gig, with her out of the blue asking if her hair looks ok or inquiring for info if it was legal to smoke pot in Denmark and where to get it, not willing to be left out from the rest of the festival visitors, hehe.

Here's a link to an interview with Martha on Guardian Unlimited
One of my favourite songs by her Martha Wainwright - Factory [link expired]
And a Studio Session on Australian ABC radio, here [link expired]

Moving to the Orange stage following a wish of my friend Mette we saw the crazy, oil-barrel hitting, you-have-to-get-involved-in-a-mad-dance and can't-keep-your-legs-still performance by the Norwegian Kaizers Orchestra. Was fun, music was ok, though have found an unreasonable and silly unlikeness in songs that are sung entirely in Scandinavian languages, plus - started to feel consequences of being in the sun for too long during that show, luckily only temporarily.

Then saw a tiny bit of Morrissey as we had just run to and from our camping place and rushing to see Martha's brother Rufus on the second biggest stage.

Must say, Rufus was a bit disappointing playing alone on the piano and singing rather melancholic songs that after the energy-driven Kaizers felt somewhat lame. Given the chance to listen to the music in a more intimate surroundings I can bet I would have been blown away. Though, he had the same great sense of humour as his sister calling Axl Rose's hair "a concentration camp for hair". Anyway, the joy came back when Rufus was joined by Martha on the stage, a perfect sounding duo! Even though it wasn't enough to keep me away from thoughts of going away what we eventually did not waiting for the final songs.

Here's a YouTube link to a home video made by Rufus and Martha in honour of their mother and aunt - it's bloody hilarious! ;)

Didn't see much of Bob Dylan either, as the Orange stage and the area along it, was stuffed with people and after a brief fight to get a view of Dylan in the screens proved it to be rather boring and dull performance.

Not being too keen on staying alone somewhere on the festival site waiting for the next concerts I joined to see The Streets gig on Arena bit later. It was incredibly full and regreted to have gone there! Unfortunately, was reminded of how annoying can teenagers be when they are left on their own, drinking beer and behaving like total morons. Well I'm not and won't be a fan of Mike Skinner anyway.

Next stop was Scissor Sisters - even more involvement in legs/arms/bit of hip movement occupation! Stayed for a couple of songs including Take Your Mama and then run..

..to see Kashmir!! Apparently they have been criticised before of putting too much focus on their new material, so it seemed like they did their best that night to make everything good again. A lot of tracks from Zitilities album were played to my great delight and older ones as well. Danes were going mad screaming and singing along (I confess, I did the same!), pure pleasure and Rocket Brothers at the finish line.

Kashmir - Melpome [link expired]

I came to the camping site very exhausted but flying few inches above the ground again!

Bling-bling

2006-07-11T21:36:00.000+03:00

Finally, the legal drinking age has arrived! Cheers!
And happy birthday to me! :)

Today in the history has been a quite boring one, apart from:

1919 - Eight-hour working day and free Sunday made into law in the Netherlands (ain't that fun?)
1955 - The phrase In God We Trust is added to all US currency (whooo!)
1975 - Chinese archeologists discover a large burial site with 6,000 clay statutes of warriors from 221 BC (always good to know)
1982 - Italy defeats West Germany 3-1, to win the FIFA World Cup for the third time, in Spain (ha!)
1987 - According to the United Nations, the world population crosses the 5,000,000,000 mark (including me)
1995 - Srebrenica Genocide: Serb army from Yugoslavia and Bosnia, capture the Bosniak town of Srebrenica. More than eight thousands inhabitants are murdered. It is generally regarded to be the most horrific event in recent European history (*sigh*)
2006 - Microsoft's official support of Windows 98 and Windows Me ends (horror, horror)

And some top hits of 1985:

Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody Wants To Rule The World, but I'll be the one to do it. And before it happens, won't you come see about me? I'll be alone, dancing you know it, baby! So, Don't You Forget About Me! Caus' all we need is music, sweet music, there'll be music everywhere. They'll be swinging, swaying, records playing, Dancing In The Street. Say You, Say Me to your Private Dancer and Take On Me while The Heat Is On, I'll be gone in a day or two. Oh, and when you and not some Jealous Guy held my hand, I knew that it was now or never. Those were the best days of my life, back in the Summer Of '69 or 2006? :))

PS. My oh my, from fear of possible flooding of my laptop I'll make it short and less pathetic, thank you to each one of you for the greetings, hugs & kisses and for making the world a truly loveable place!

Roskilde festival 2006 (Part III)

2006-07-10T22:39:00.000+03:00

News flash: Only recently got back from spending a considerable amount of time (taken into consideration the heat level we're having here) at the 70 km afar beach. It's still freakin hot, though some thunderstorms are threatening to devastate everything that comes into their reach. Even the water at the sea can give only a short-term comfort and I would prefer staying there and keep on acting like I was a starfish floating along the tide instead of sitting in a overheated, frying-pan-like flat.

Back to Roskilde..
Thursday (June 29) was "officially" the opening day of the festival.

Hardly could wait for it to happen as one of the first bands to kick-off was a very favourite of mine - indie rockers Editors from good ol' Britain.
Been humming and listening to their songs for quite a while and was REALLY eager too see how they are live. And they didn't disappoint me in spite of several reviews I've read that their act had a lack of improvisation and being UKs Interpol, naaaaah!
The band gave all they had with the frontman (soo bloody hot!) going nuts at times on the stage flinging his arms in the air a-la style of Coldplay's Chris Martin, sparkling eyes (hehe) and leaving the crowd begging for an encore that didn't come unfortunately..

Editors - Munich [link expired] highly recommended!

After that our little company stayed at the Odeon stage to enjoy the performance of the apparently pregnant Swede Jenny Wilson. Had listened to few of her songs before (nice catchy synth-guitar-pop tunes) but wasn't overly impressed to start a deeper exploration of her music (well, happens a lot with me until a sudden click hits me). Anyway, was a nice performance, even not knowing almost any of the songs. There was something in the air keeping me mesmerised listening.
Charming, charming!

Jenny Wilson - A Brief Story [link expired] (am too tired now to put "highly recommended" to each track, but you should get the point by now!)

Having slightly different taste in music always leads to one thing - parting. So, I stayed to listen to a bit of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and what I've heard didn't end in doing as the band name instructs. The sound was unpleasent for my ears and the frontman could hardly be heard not to mention lyrics of their songs...

But it was all made up entirely with the stunning performance and out-of-this-world music of Sigur Rós (Iceland). It doesn't really need words to describe how easily you can get goose bumps during their gig, fall in a trance and really see or feel like an angel flying forgetting all sorrows that lie on your heart. *Sigh*

Here's a link to their homepage where you can download several of their tracks, especially this one - Starálfur!

Roskilde festival 2006 (Part II)

2006-07-09T16:19:00.000+03:00

Extract from a conversation:

A girl who I just had met while having a stroll on the devastated camping site on the last festival day: ..So, which time is it for you here?
Me: First.
Girl: OHHH, poor you!
Me: Pardon me?
Girl: It's my third! (with a huge grin in her face)

For a while I was quite puzzled about what she had said but now, a week after, I can only agree. If you've been there once you will definitely feel the urge to be a part of it again (and again, and again..).

It was Tuesday (June 27) when after another delayed, partly non-air & choking train trip, with my head full of stories told by my dear neighbours who had found the joy in trying to get me scared about the whole festival-thing (not forgetting "it-rains-like nuts-every-second-year") I finally put my feet and my sleeping bag on the Roskilde trainstation platform. And following the guidance of Mette, who had the honour of finding a spot and setting up our tent few days before, headed to the festivals' camping site while enjoying the great festival atmosphere that had already taken over the whole town in full scale.

The musical excitement started on Wednesday with 2 interesting Danish bands.

Band Ane had never heard about them before and didn't know what to expect. Must say they were pretty good - electronica meets haunting female vocal. Reminded me both of the pretty-noise sounds of Psapp and the esotericity of Sigur Rós.

Here's a sample of their music, without the vocal unfortunately

Band Ane - Wood Delivery [link expired]

Vincent Van Go Go the same no-idea knowledge state. BUT! turned out to be one of the most entertaining gigs I saw. With their reggae-ish flair and a slight touch of hip-hop beats they made the crowd dance and sing along. And as some girls came along during the show throwing pink beach balls to the audience a tribute to the weather gods was complete and fully paid. The summer mood, weather conditions and smiles upon everyone's faces stayed for the rest of the week.

Do you know? Do you know? Vincent Van Go Go ;)
Here! highly recommended [link expired]

A city in the city - Roskilde festival 2006 (Part I)

2006-07-09T01:37:00.000+03:00

Finally, the long postponed post(s)!

Some facts about Roskilde Festival 2006:

8 days of amazing experiences
more than 170 bands
6 big stages (Orange, Arena, Odeon, Ballroom, Metropol and Pavilion)
79 000 visitors, ~ 110 000 people overall
the average age of the guests was 25
all borne on the shoulders of more than 20 000 volunteers
hot and sunny with temperatures reaching up to 25 °C (or maybe more)

Rather entertaining facts:

it takes a year and a half to plan the festival
it takes a fortnight to get the camping area and the festival site back to its normal state after the fun is over
an asset that might have been very useful this year - dust masks (still feels like I've taken a kilo of dust from Roskilde in my lungs with me)
6 200 km of toilet paper was prepared to be used by festival guests (could cover the distance between Roskilde and New York)
students who're using the festival as a project get a free wristband, in return they have to hand in their finished dissertations to the festival management (no kidding, they mean it serious!)
28 800 empty beer cans were daily handed in at the deposit stands, enough to fill three trucks with 950 full beer crates

Facts mainly taken from the daily festival paper Festival Globe and the Roskilde Festival homepage.

Imagine if you had a fur coat

2006-07-08T23:33:00.000+03:00

..then you'd probably looked and did like this..

Yes, it's freaking hot in Latvia now (reaching 32 degrees Celsius) and the consequences feel not only my hopping long-ear pet, but the rest of the population as well (including large-scale fires in forests, unfortunately).

It's the perfect timing to save some electricity or gas and fry your breakfast' omelette du fromage on the pavement, boil your coffee on the balcony or make some use of the roof tiles by moving the barbecue there! Ha!

Even the night doesn't give the long awaited comfort of a cool breeze and the bloody mosquitos and flies are driving everybody nuts.

This year so far has been exciting enough in terms of diversity of the weather from minus 30 degrees in January to the 32/33 degrees now. Global warming? doubt it :)

Other news: I'll soon get a headache due to problems with my internship place, huh..

Back to more pleasant things! The appropriate soundtrack for the last days - Office from Chicago with Wound Up.

Let's go to the beach tonight with a bottle of wine!!

Office - Wound Up [link expired]

Surrealism

2006-07-07T01:36:00.000+03:00

Feels truly indescribable walking along the paths you know by heart, the well-known environment, people talking in your native language and not really managing to make a link between that and the fact you're not in Denmark anymore..

The trip back home was stressful as always, with an overweight and outnumbered luggage that would do honour to Hyacinth Bucket (Keeping Up Appearances the special "Sea fever"), threats of striking airport personal and delayed train schedule. If it wasn't for Mette keeping my spirits high and huming tunes of positive thinking I'd start panicking right there. Thanks! :))

Today at last I met one of my very, very lovely friends! Too bad we were both in quite a rush and the time spent together flew by, but it was enough to give me a huge positive kick of trying to get over the crucial getting-back-home phase (danke, sweetheart! ;)). I wonder why nobody has written a manual about this issue as it seems to be much worse than the getting-to-a-new-country thingie.

No idea when will I have the time to post pictures and brief reviews about Roskilde gigs as there are several events with my family planned during the next couple of days.

"always look at the bright side of life, tudu tudu.." :)
All my love to my few, loyal readers!

A part of the "organised chaos"

2006-07-03T20:59:00.000+03:00

Precissely!
A quote taken from Festival Globe (the daily-must newspaper last days) describes the week June 26 - July 2 in Roskilde, for lack of a better explanation, perfectly.

A week of total chaos wrapped in a thick, diverse and very tasty layer of music, the best weather you can wish for, inconceivable masses of people and all the good vibes in general.

My goodness! Only now all of the things done and seen find the way to the more conscious part of the mind. Feeling like a big bag of a vacuum cleaner that has been sucking in all the events that were happening around and now being rather dizzy.

This morning crawling out of the tent was quite weird without my fellow companions Mette and André beside (had to say goodbye to André before, being half-asleep, acting in a state of partial automaticity, I'll give you the hug you deserver the time we will meet, i.e. soon I hope ;) ), campsite looking like a wasteyard/battlefield, not really realising where the heck am I.

The traditional bonfires of tents were made, smashing/crashing of pavilions took place, artistic trees from all imaginable things you can find in a camp were built (pictures of that might follow later), plus improvised baseball matches of throw-that-beer-can happened during last night as most of the festival visitors set out for home in the rythm of some guy(s) crazy and enthusiastic play of drums somewhere on the campsite.

Roskilde Festival 2006 has really been a "BLAST"!

I took rather many pictures from the music gigs, though the bloody digital camera has screwed most of the them, anyway I'll try to write few reviews of the acts I saw in some time in the near future and put some visual aids as well!

Other news: heading back home in 2 days, my oh my.
Posting might be rather inconsistent!

SpECiAL dEDiCaTiOn

2006-06-27T02:35:00.000+03:00

On the upcoming Thursday, June 29, two of my very special friends Ági and Palmir will celebrate the I-was-born-then day!

And as I don't count on getting in touch with modern technologies during the next week:

Bees are singing, the sun is going mad, flowers sway in the rythm of the wind and all caus you're having birthday! ;)

Thousands of kisses and hugs!
And don't forget to say thanks from me to your mums, they did a tremendously good work! ;)
Love you guys..

Me vs 79 999 other people :)

2006-06-26T22:41:00.000+03:00

I'm sorry for the lack of posts last days but I've been pretty busy (just like always lately).
Beware: This post might get pretty long!!

Sooo (love that word, note to myself: should make a list of favourite english words!) the day of my kicking-out of my beloved*slash*cosy*slash*MINE and ONLY MINE room came today. Getting all of your things out of drawers, shelves and every other imaginable place, placing it on the bed in a huge pile, scratching thoroughly made elements of interrior off the walls brought me very close to another emotional breakdown. So many memories came up in my mind that I had totally forgotten about and couldn't stop thinking about some that I will never ever forget...
My horror grew even bigger as I realised that no way I'm going to fit all that in my suitcases, it was and will be a real struggle. I bet I'll end up screaming at the lady from our national airline company about her "you know, only 20 kg are allowed". Bloody *%#@$&, let me just get home!!! grrr...
Anyway, it was so much fun ending the night smelling and feeling like a cloud of chemicals, not feeling hands or legs anymore but having an almost perfectly clean hospital-like environment, as well as finishing the kitchen-duty week. Excitement, excitement! (Inspection of the room went well.)

Now I have moved to "Casa del Mette Urth", next door :)))

Next section of the post.

Available options:

keep on reading
click on the cross thingie on the upper right part of this window and shut down the humming, dazzling being of a pc

Have almost packed my backpack to be ready heading for the biggest adventure of this summer - the Roskilde festival!!! Enjoy a lot of music, camp and have as much fun as possible.
The slogan of the next week: Bye bye civilisation, hello party!

I'm so much looking forward to seeing my very favourites from the 160 bands line up - Martha Wainwright and Rufus Wainwright, Jenny Lewis and The Watson Twins, Editors, Sigur Rós, Kashmir.
As well as The Strokes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Morrissey, Godlfrapp, Scissor Sisters, Phoenix, Franz Ferdinand, Placebo, Arctic Monkeys and many, many more.

And if you see me somewhere in Roskilde sleeping in a corner with a beer bottle in my hand and telling how much I love the whole world, you're just having optical illusions! ;)

See you soon folks, take good care of yourself! And never stop looking/searching for those tiny little things that can make you happy at least for a second.

PS. Posting might be delayed for more than a week!