Hello, my dear blog..
Haven't seen you in such a long time. It's actually been, what - more than five years? And I know that I'm not forgiven for abandoning you. But you know, life happens and you get too busy or just dry out of words to form meaningful sentences or just move on and forget to write those words down to the thoughts you're carrying around with you from day to day.

Just wanted to tell you that I miss the younger me to whom you were the best friend with whom to share the important bits and events that were happening all around. Starting from the sad-music-loving girl in DK, who so steadily and stupidly fell in love and eventually broke her own heart on something that was never meant to happen.. Who spent time channeling feelings in cartoon-drawings, listening to an awful lot of music, taking pictures of her room, socks, the view outside the window and what else not. Who was busy trying to figure life out, worry about things that matter. To the girl who surprisingly found good friends in colleagues in her first steady job (without whom I wouldn't probably be where I am right now - for better or for worse..)

Tell her I said hi! That hopefully one day we'll see each other again. When I'll get rid of the lurking sleep disorders who are fault that I can't fall asleep for the second day in a row, even though I'm dead tired of the last bloody days at work. When I will stop worrying and beating myslelf up about things that are simply not worth it. When I find my way back to the creative side, as small that might be.

One day...

The miniature snowflakes outside are getting back to their dance in the dimmed streetlight. There's something very soothing and calming about that sight. Maybe I will fall asleep soon.

Goodnight, my old friend.

A.

I wonder how soon you can get addicted to this stuff, taking in notice the speed of disappearing fags in the first and only package of cigarettes I have ever bought.

Fuck-y'all-attitude is floating above the surface too often lately and then again I'm laughing my lungs out and getting cramps in the stomach from laughing at work the same time.

Jau kādu ceturto dienu ar muguras smadzenēm jūtu to smacējošo sajūtu, ka vajadzētu vai nu pielikties kā lopam, vai šļakstīt asaras pa visām vīlēm, vai nu pasēdēt uz tuvējā dzelzs tilta un apdomāt dzīvi. Neviens no iepriekš minētajiem nav izdevies.

un ik rīta došanās uz darbu ir kā zobu sāpes.. nav labi, nav labi, jo viss taču ir labi, pat vairāk.

Sasodīts, vajag psihologu.

I'm a bundle of nerves.
Tomorrow is the day.
I'll defend my bachelor work.

..atzīšanās mīlestībā zvaigznēm, kuras pārāk sen nav vērotas tumši zili melnajā debesjumā..

Tik ērmoti dīvaini..
..visu dienu apkārt cilvēku bari - pazīstami un nepazīstami, pusdienu biedri, cigarešu drupinātāji un kāju švīkātāji uz blakus soliņa pusdienu pārtraukumā, dokumentu burzītāji un ķiķinoši smējēji.

bet pietrūkst citu, ļoti.
vismaz labi, ka ir gar-vadu komunikācijas ar klausām-runājam trubu vienā..un otrā galā.


vērtība lietām, (ne)lietām pamanās uzrasties, kad ar pirkstu galiem nepietiek, lai to notvertu un ieliktu krūšu kreisajā kabatiņā kā tādu pieneņpūku, tuvāk pie sirds, tuvāk where it really matters.

Hello my dear abandoned blog.
It's been a while again..

Bachelor work was handed in last Friday, non-stop writing days are over for now.
Now the only thing that triggers occasional nightmares is the day of defending that piece of brain-torture June 7.

The heat we're having here (+30 °C) is a cause not only for dehydration, but also for madness. Take for example my working place - no properly working air conditioner, the upper floor with a roof where you could cook eggs, boil water and what else not; AND THEN, imagine, you're trying to make as less movement as possible, fighting your way on a bilingual contract and suddenly you're a witness to a splish-splash event, where the main role is played by a guy, a girl (both quite irritated) and a full cup of coffee. Result: everything around in 2 m radius flooding in that fluid, as well as a big stain on the guy's shirt. Nice, huh? :)


somehow it feels like there's a need for a long, long conversation, but no friends are around (not at least in person), shish, stupid hormones..

complaining again! You know me!

Last night I woke up by the drumming sound of almighty heaven thunder..
Yea, spring (or summer?) has arrived at last and we're all hoping for giving up all those long-sleeve clothes, scarfs and the rest of winter attributes.

And even though I get unbearable panic attacks that sometimes reach the level of a phobia from thunderstorms, this one was kind of... mmm... pleasant, in the thankful way for getting back the smell of blossoming flowers and trees, smiling people, even with umbrellas in their hands.

And then a long forgotten album came spinning in my winamp playlist. Turin Brakes Optimist LP.
4 years ago. I first got my hands to that shiny piece of CD and it eventually became my closest companion of spring/summer 2003. Time when I was full of stress, sitting most of the day in my room trying to get loads of math-formulas in my head, preparing for exams and hardly avoiding temptations of spring.

And now it's 2007, nothing much has changed. I'm sitting by my laptop and forcefully trying to tap-tap my bachelor work with the same lack of motivation :)

uhhh, memories!