Turpinot iesākto tēmu

Tā, kārtējās web-lapu šķirstīšanas apsēstības procesā, nejauši uzdūros cienījamās Simbel linku sarakstam un atklāju kolosālu lapiņu ar Klāva Elsberga dzejoļiem, paldies par tādiem dārgumiem ;)

Atradu vienu, kas kā naglai uz galvas un noteikti tiks pieminēts ne vienu reizi vien..

***

jo manā pasaulē sniegi snieg
manā pasaulē būdiņa sniegos
manā pasaulē būdiņā krāsns
un tajā krāsnī ir guns

ja kāds reiz ieklīdīs pasaulē manā
tad lai viņš tajā būdiņā ieiet
tad lai viņš uzsilda ūdeni krūzītē
iedzer tēju un uzpīpo

(K.Elsbergs)

Sitting quietly on the windowsill

..and watching those little tea light candles glowing in the dark with a big cup of tea keeping cold fingers warm can have a powerfull healing force. Too bad that there's no windowsill in sight here but the most perfect one had to be left behind in good ol' Dane-land; of a perfect room for lost souls, dreamers, romantics, cynics and everyone else that shared an affection for Danish beer, and not only. Oh, I miss those days and those people.

But back to the main point - last weekend was so emotion-filled that only now there's some room for daily ramblings.

On Friday I went to see Shakespeare's King Lear in our local theater and, as expected, I wasn't disappointed - the actors delivered a mind-blowing performance (see pictures in the other post), costumes, stage design, lights, huh! so good.. It hit me harder than I thought it would, you know, those hurricanes that destroy the balance in your inner world for a while.

Talking about hurricanes, we had sort of a windstorm as well that blew over half of the country leaving many without electricity, crashed trees and sweeping away the last warm days of the year.

And so on Saturday I felt like a boat carried too far away from the water left on the sandy shore. But crazy ideas appear in times like these. Like taking a stroll with friends through the forest down to the river banks in between fighting with umbrellas and the stormy cold weather :) fun!

That's the story! And I'm off to Rīga for few days. Take care my tea-addicted friends.

Karalis Līrs

Nezinu, kā īsti ietērpt vārdos vakardienas teātra izrādi. Un tās emocijas..

Vēl joprojām sajūta tāda, ka sēžu uz skatuves un saspringti iekrampējusies krēslā vēroju visu notiekošo, rokas stiepiena attālumā no dvēseli plosošā aktiertēlojuma. Jāatzīstas, ka lugu neesmu lasījusi un vidusskolas obligātajā literatūras repertuārā iekļautais Šekspīrs neiedvesmoja, zināju vien sauso sižeta līniju - Karalis, vecs, biš prātu izkūkojis, liek savām trim meitām izklāstīt, cik ļoti tās viņu mīl un izrietot no tā sadalīt Britāniju attiecīgās daļās.. pirmais cēliens pagāja vienā elpas vilcienā, gluži kā otrais. Režisors, kvalitātes zīme pati par sevi, savos 85 gados tiešām radījis... ak, tomēr nespēju izstāstīt, I'm speechless.

Mūsdienu iezīmes sapludinātas ar klasisko; kostīmi, dekorācijas, gaismas, grims, pats galvenais - aktierspēle! Ne velti Valmieras Drāmas teātris pēdējos gados nereti "sit pušu" dažu labu Rīgas teātri. (Bildes no teātra mājas lapas.)

Pozitīvisms

English reading human beings see the note at the end!

Viena lieta ir skaidra gluži kā tas, ka ārā pašlaik gāž kā no spaiņiem un piesolītā vētra tomēr tuvojas, proti - pozitīvisms darbojas. Jebšu pašlaik pilnā mērā īstenojas iekāpšana zebras kažociņa baltajā strīpojumā. Pareizi, laikam neesmu ne reizi (kauns!) pieminējusi savu teoriju par dzīves līknes, notikumu, kas nu kuram tuvāks, paralēlo lidojumu un sakritību ar zebras dikti jauko svītrojumu. Zini - melns, balts, melns, balts, šaurāka, platāka, pavisam šauriņa, plata kā Ventas rumba strīpa ū tē tē un tā joprojām.

Ak, šī verbālā - vārdu dzimatajā mēlē - caureja, nē, nesaturēšana! un monologs ar sevi un Tevi! komentārus neprasa, vienkārši tagad šiten te
>>>> .......................... <<<< ieliec visu, ko patlaban domā. (Brīva vieta pārdomāma, ne tikai reklāmas saukļiem.)

Bet ko var gribēt.. saskaņā ar vakar apmeklēto daiļi izglītojošo augstskolas saviesīgi ārpus-lekciju pasākumu vārdā "paraugdebates" parlamentārajā debatēšanas mākslā, kur dalību ņēma un ar savu spīdošo performanci ausis, acis priecēja un nevienu vien plaukstu šūnu virskārtas slāni tamdēļ nodeldēju plaukšķinot ačtelēm spīdot dārgumdārgie pasniedzēji Aigars un Maira un citi mazāk ievērojami kadri, secināju:

minerālūdens ir iekļaujams alkoholisko dzērienu sarakstā, un ar steigu. Mī un žē, nekad, nu nekad mūžā nejaukšu šo vielu ar citiem līdzīgas dabas dzēriniem (galvassāpes garantētas);

sekojot iepriekšējam punktam un kas ir vēl svarīgāk - mans būt ārstējams no "ūdens" atkarības, jo "ūdens" būt narkotiskā viela, no kuras izstiepies vai saraujies tiekam padarīti atkarīgi no īkšķu sūkāšanas vecuma;

treškārt, ir cilvēki, kuriem dots talants nebūt uz mutes kritušiem un ir tie otri ..kritušie (mana statistiskā kopa).

Tā lūk!

Ak jā, šīs dienas veikums galvenokārt ievērojams ar mazumiņu miega stundu (Gredzena pavēlnieka otrā grāmata ievaņģojusi savā tīklā, kāds vēl tur miegs!), dažām saules pilnām stundām un tagad sekos galvenās ievērības cienīgais fakts - pilnīga un galīga nodošanās studiju procesam, proti, grupu darbs par transporta nozares analīzi. Nogurums laužas ārā pa visām spraudziņām kaut arī derētu vēl izdomāt, ko minētās tēmas sakarā rīt teikt darba prezentācijā. Bet, godīgi sakot, pašlaik man pie auss (kāja sāp - nedrīkst aiztikt)! Anit' iet gulēt! Samīļosi uz labu nakti? :)

PS. Rīt skalosim smadzenes tīras no visiem TV zaņķiem un pārējām drazām, piepildīšu dvēsli ar Šekspīru, Karali Līru un Valmieras teātri!

For sweethearts reading only in English: apologies for being so rude in totally dedicating these lines for Finnish but no worries you haven't missed anything! I had two wonderful days keeping up my positivism campaign and today was just overly exhausting and busy with writing group work and preparing a presentation for Auditing. Life is still a bitch but I like it this way anyway, no I will never admit that statement again ;) Sleep tight fluffies & beware of bed bugs!

Nothing important at all, just had to let it go

First of all, hate when few certain moments can mess up the whole day. No, it's not the rain, surprisingly enough it has been like an old good friend last days, even not the overwhelming greyness outside, nor school. But an innocent question "I bought this and that/ these today, how does it look?". Damnit, there's a big pitfall right in front - tell what you really think and it's nothing bad at all, nothing to take offence about OR play along to the excitement of the person feeling like quite a liar. Imagine taking option number one and slam! you see a sour face right in front of you!

Secondly, having headaches from one day to another, aching knees and a slight temperature don't make you feel comfortable at all.

Thirdly, my frequently used words i.e. vocabulary in both English and Latvian is starting to reach the level of an elevenyear old.

Fourthly, should develop a total-positivism attidtude with the coming Wednesday as testing ground, at least for one day.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnit!

Heart beat

Oh tell me what is colour,
When all the world is black and white,
And tell me what you reach for,
When all the stars are out of sight,
Oh tell me what you'd give,
To be woken by a kiss in the morning light,
Do you feel alright.

Blackbud - Heartbeat (Single Version) (high-ly recommended download, here)

A little romantic, slightly melancholic mood will do good for the beginning. And if you dedicate some of your precious time to listen to the upper mentioned song (what you really should), I'll just add that the second verse ain't less adorable.

Oh tell me what you'd give,
For a hand to hold in the cold cold rain..

Don't we all wish that?

Anyway, haven't been blogging for quite a while again having issues with English vs Latvian, less free time and etc etc.

Autumn is in full motion here by now, showing itself at its best qualities before turning into a weakening factor for most human creatures. Until then, variety of green, yellow and orange colours brighten looks outside, cheer up the mood with few sunbeams and last warm days make you forget it's the last days of October and first Christmas offer advertising junk is starting to flow into the mailbox. *Time for false expectations - ahh, the Summer isn't far. Smile!*


Not to get black holes in my memory (consequences because of the lack of calendar with a time schedule) brief recap of last week. Monday, right! Spent a wonderful evening at the dorms with my good, good friend watching our favourite series of Desperate Housewives, having beer, damaging health even more (but who cares about the next morning at that moment?), chatting, making waffles before she was to leave for a fortnight to be spend in Spain.

Until Friday was busy getting myself to study for unpleasant and tricky tests in English and Auditing that didn't go too good, well... Despite that, Friday classes were finished with a deserved shout of "Yay, the weekend can begin!".

So, I packed my bag and joined my family for a 5-hour car trip to West Latvia (Kurzeme) to visit my grandmother.

Oh, btw, did you know that shrimps glow in the dark? :) I'd appreciate if someone could light me up on this phenomenon!

Neizdibināmas, asas sāpes sirds rajonā, sen tā atkal nav bijis..
Nē, un ar ārstiem labas attiecības nu it nemaz nav.

Un, jo čābiskāk jūtos, jo vairāk gribas kaut ko dzimtajā mēlē uzdrukāt; tik, dīvainā kārtā, iekšā ir, bet ārā nenāk.

Glimpses of a Friday

Yes, that's the misterious mist! Regretful that my morning stroll to school didn't go along the river as the view there had been tremendous, as I was told.

Chaos, reflection and a window to a brick wall..

So far, yet so close and fragile...the world outside.

Jump or not?

I didn't notice that it was Friday the 13th until somebody mentioned it after half of the day was already over. Drawing a conclusion - superstition, heh?

You know these days when you feel and act like a bull in a china shop? (LV version - "elephant in a dish shop" sounds much better, doesn't it?). Somedays are just meant for that. Your umbrella has an evil intention to crash into one of the uncountable shelves in a silent library full of people that pretend to be working hard on their projects; the door slams with a big bang; goods at the shop are placed at the right place to be knocked down with too big shopping bags and, yes, I probably look impolite with earphones in my ears and music constantly playing.

Anyhow, *khi khi*, it's funny how I was silently cursing at myself all the time today for being so clumsy.

At least my small universe seems to be rotating back into more innerly calm area. Some issues that couldn't leave me in peace even in my sleep have been brought to a close...at least for now.
Though others have raised - what in the world should I take as my bachelor theme? Yuckie yuck - months of constant browsing through materials and too many hours by the pc don't bring back pleasent memories. But let's forget about it for few more weeks!

Until then I'll spend more and more time somewhere in darkness with few candles giving some sort of light, listening to Elbow, Tori Amos, The Whitest Boy Alive or reading a good piece of fiction. Oh, btw I just finished Michael Cunningham's Flesh and Blood! am still amased by his ability to describe all those details of daily life that you so easily forget.

Well, that's it for now! I should force myself to do my English homework for tomorrow. Take care!

what a fool

The night was long yesterday, so long that even coffee couldn't kick my brains to start working.
But it left hope for more peaceful and stable future, mja that was naive, as we say here "hope is the comfort of the fool" freely translating.

Anyway, finally! Finally I made a cosy home cinema atmosphere in my small, stuffed room. The choice was hard but lastly the right movie was picked (Million Dollar Baby) and I had my dose of tears.

Jeez, how my legs hurt right now! 6 hours of walking marathon through a mall ain't no relaxation - it's hard work! Then at the end you realise that either you're a hopeless case or fashion this year is the most doomed ever. BUT and there really is a "but" - I found very adorable pair of shoes, well ok - sneakers. Didn't know things like that can bring at least a bit of joy, me not being a girlie girl at all :)

...*Yawn* I should get in bed at a reasonable time, good night chipmunks!

Accidentally met an old friend not seen for billion years.
Weird estrangement, weird coincidence, weird environment.

A view on fireworks right from our balcony.
Despite that nobody knew for who it was actually meant people from surrounding houses were grateful, uplifting ovations :)

Waiting is nerve wrecking.
Take care you lovely bunch of people who occasionaly pop by! I'm off to fulfil my longing after a movie in candle light surroundings and a cold Danish beer.

Btw, my creepy nightmares are back. And this post has as much sense as adverts about washing -powders

Nemiers tirda.
Feeling of unrest.

Nu jā, mēnestiņš ārā diez ko saulainu un mierīgu sajūtu nerada, un vēl viena diena pagājusi. Tu mani ignorē, es Tevi tāpat un tā sirds sadrūp pa mazam gabaliņam, atdalās ik dienas. Varbūt samierināšos un iestāstīšu tam muļķīgajam orgānam, ka pieķeršanās ir tikai īslaicīga, pāries.. melot sev jau nav kaitīgi. Droši vien esmu to pelnījusi, bet atvainoties par to, ka esmu tāda kāda esmu, netaisos.

Feels like making barricades around my room and block every possible entrance, even for light, light up candles, creep under a blanket and watch a heartbreaking movie (The Hours? Dogville? Dancer In The Dark? The Pianist? suggestions??) that drives a hurricane over your tiny world and leaves you in a pile of scrunched and soaking handkerchiefs.

I guess it's time to post some new drawings.

Leaves do fall while you're being brainwashed

What do you know, it's already Friday and another weekend ahead!

The week flew by in a blink of an eye, especially because my lecture schedule was light years afar from being tight, but it would be a sacrilege to complain about extra days off, even more as the coming weeks promise to be very exhausting.


Anyway...yesterday. Was spent mostly with or waiting for my little sister who had to be taken from one out-of-school activity to another. It was a nice autumnal day and I managed to shoot some equally nice pictures until it started raining. But it wasn't a calming and harmless pattering - it was a real shower (I bet somewhere there really were some cats and dogs coming down!). AND of course I had forgotten to take an umbrella, hail to my common sense! Leaving the part of being wet and cold out, jumping over puddles with sis was much fun :) and raindrops sparkling in the sunshine later brought back a bright smile.

Oh, and did you see the to-become-full-moon covered up in clouds yesterday? Creepy!

Returning to the topic "weekend".
Tomorrow is a remarkable day, want it or not. The last chapter of the epopee called "Latvian parliamentary elections" will be written and I can't tell you how much I'm fed up with all the fuss around it. Not the fact itself but all those agitation events and adverts. You can't even have your morning cup of coffee without feeling brainwashed with never-ending "we will fight against this, this and that; everything is so bad but we are the right ones to make it better; bla bla bla".

I'm definitely overly sensitive about it.. though it should be the opposite having quite a strong link with (all what refers) politics, hmf. Maybe it's the fear of changes and uncertainty that they are ought to bring...

*commercial break for theme related contemplation*

Q: Do you know who are you going to vote for?
A: It's not a question of "who for" rather then "who against" - against others. [Mr J.Domburs]

Miglas pilns rīts,
pēc vakardienas negaisa ar vārdos neizsakāmu miera, svaiguma un tikko pļautas zāles sajūtu un smaržu jūkli.
Rudens aizkavējies,
kaut gan neskumstu - tā nestajai pelēcības melanholijai laika vēl pietiks.

Rimtā solī Heartbeats melodijai zumzinot ausīs dodos uz skolu pa dubļainām taciņām, sen nemītām. Zāles stiebru sulīgi zaļā krāsa it nemaz neliecina par oktobra pienākšanu. Tā knapi noturos neaizčāpojot garām rosīgajai augstskolas ēkai, nolūkā apstāties tikai pie soliņa Gaujas otrā krastā, kā ezītim ietīties migliņā un vērot tās kustību pa lēni plūstošajām straumītēm..

Pēc stundas tomēr savācu savas mantiņas un aizlaižos no lekcijām; ejam barot pīles!

Dienas pelēcību gribas turēt cieši klāt, nelaist prom, dīvaini tuva tā šodien. Sajūta trausla, pārāk ātri gaistoša un tomēr iekšēji tik plosoša, sāpīgi..

Atrodu slēptuvīti starp kokiem, mežiņā, kur mūs bērndārza laikā veda pastaigāties, kur pilsētas haosa trokšņi skan tikai kā apslāpēts fons dzeņa klaudzināšanai. Priežu skujas matos, to smarža visapkārt. Derētu iestādīt čiekuru, koks izaugtu?


Man Tevis ļoti pietrūkst, kaut izliekos, ka tā nav. Paklusēt kopā... bet stāsts nebija par to un Tu tāpat te neiegriezies.

(even more) briefly

October 1 (if nobody has noticed)
Thunderstorm !!! (it should be snowing or something)

Me at a bus stop (all consisting of metal)
Thunderbolt and thunder at the same time
Legs of jelly and trembling feeling inside for the rest of the day (afterwards)

Ongoing thunder flashes in the darkness, such a beauty!

Oh, did I tell you I'm paraniod of thunderstorms?
And it's not a wise idea to drink strong coffee late in the evening!